An Advent of Change
Henri Nouwen once wrote, “…to pray is to change” and then he asked, “Why would you want to
do that?” Nouwen named what we all know: change is hard. Even when we are instigating
change in our own lives, under our own direction, change is difficult and complicated. I wonder
if we might consider this same axiom and question about change in our Advent journey. In
other words, to enter Advent is to change… why would you want to do that?
Consider the stories of Advent. First we find John the Baptist out in wilderness calling people to
repent and be different. That’s change of a religious, ethical, and moral sense. We have
Zechariah’s temple experience leading to a physical change as he becomes mute. Elizabeth
and Mary also experience physical change as they carry children in their wombs. The
shepherds change is geographical. Invited by the angel they make a journey of promise.
I am convinced that these changes are also, and absolutely, spiritual because, as in Nouwen’s
vein, they are all changed in who they are relative to Jesus. John the Baptist will ultimately
prepare the way of the Lord, baptize Jesus, and name him as the one who is greater.
Zechariah’s inability to speak forced him into a position to listen to the new thing that God was
going to do. Elizabeth would be the first witness to the not-yet-to-be born Jesus. Mary would
have to ponder the news that she received and then she would proclaim that her son would
bring justice and equity. The shepherds would witness Jesus’ birth and be sent out to share the
good news.
At Chrysalis we are committed to helping clergy work through the changes that life presents.
Sometimes those are vocational. Sometimes those are spiritual. Sometimes those have to do
with wellness and mental health. No matter what, we are here to help.
In this Advent season, as you light candles, hear the stories of the incarnation, and stand as a
witness to the light that is coming into the world, we hope that you find Joy, Peace, Hope, and
Love—as a way to change.
On Advent Watch,
The Chrysalis Team
How Much Light?
The Christmas tree glows in the corner complete with a tree topper star that projects
snowflakes onto the ceiling. Meanwhile the electric wreath hangs in the window shining its LED
blessing onto the outside world. Another Christmas tree, the small plastic one with the built-in
lights, sits in another room of the house serving as a kind of seasonal night light. Light
everywhere! Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
This actually feels like too much to me. When it comes to holiday decorating—and I mean any
holiday—I am a minimalist. This is especially true for Christmas. My kids and I have some
decorations that we put out, and we have our real and fake trees, but that’s about it. I don’t do
outside lights, I don’t do blow-up yard ornaments, and I sure don’t have a soundtrack that
orchestrates the whole thing.
To me, a little light is all that is needed. A little light breaks the despair of darkness without
burning the retina. A little light reminds me that sometimes that is all that is needed to
cast out fear, to break the power, and to bring hope.
Advent is a one-candle-at-a-time kind of season. It is a season that builds. It is a season that
refuses to overpower. It is a season that invites patience and time to ponder. It is a season that
waits
In this time of lighting candles one by one, Chrysalis invites you to find just enough light for today. If we can help with that,
please know that we are right here. As the old saying goes, “We would rather light a candle than curse your darkness.”
Come Lord Jesus. Come.
The Chrysalis Team
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year…Maybe
The Christmas season has always been a mixed bag for me. Even as a young child and the child of a female pastor in the 1980’s, I felt both the joy and struggle of the season. I believe it was as if the pressures of the holidays and the hustle and bustle were simply too much for my little body to take in. I vaguely remember many Christmas Ev’s feeling as if the Church took precedence over family gatherings and our own joy and excitement as a family around the season, and I was not going to take it! So instead, I was often found lying on the back pew of the pristinely-decorated sanctuary, in a puddle, with my lite candle in hand, with wax dripping all over my newly-pressed Christmas dress.
As a pastor and a mother, I find myself carefully attempting to find a balance between the Church and intentional time with my daughter, so she does not feel and ‘The Church Vs. Family’ situation that I so often experienced. I will admit, I am more so successful at this depending on the year, and arguable the moment. As we all know too well, the Church this time of year does not necessarily or immediately bring a fullness of joy and celebratory emotions to those of us working the line, rather it often produces a frantic rush to assist support staff in decorating and preparing the sanctuary, ensuring the Advent candles are placed so that they will not immediately fall of their stands if breathed on incorrectly, and the worship services are just right – all so everyone knows that this is The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.
The truth is, we are not all that our Christmas Card family photos portray. We are each human beings just trying to create and truly feel a joyful spirit for ourselves and those we care so deeply for.
This year, I encourage each of you (myself included!), to get plenty of exercise, sleep, and rest. Be mindful of your needs, create meaningful connections with those you love dearly, breathe deeply, and give yourself the grace that you tell others to give themselves.
Blessings to you and know that we at Chrysalis are here for you to listen and help you find the hope, love, joy, and peace that this season is all about!
The Chrysalis Team
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When Our Call Feels Like a Burden
What happens when our call feels like a burden? The stories that we just read in Advent all feature God calling people to participate in the mystery of Christ’s birth. Each of them says “yes” in some way or another. Similarly, ministry leaders at some point responded to a call from God for Christian service. While the Advent stories of Joseph, Mary, Zechariah, Elizabeth, the shepherds, and Magi, are each marked with joy, hope, love, and peace, sometimes the call upon our lives as ministry leaders can feel like something else; a burden.
Where did Advent and Christmas leave you emotionally? At the end of a season when pastors are called to “do” so much, how do we reclaim our call when we might feel burdened? On some level most of us probably already know the answers to that kind of question. We know through our training that prayer and spiritual disciplines ground us. We know that reaching out to trusted friends and colleagues helps. We know that taking time to exercise, eat right, and balance our work and personal life, makes a difference.
Nonetheless, sometimes doing those things is too much. When that happens, and when ministry becomes a burden too great to carry, what do we do? First, it is important to understand that you are not alone. Biblical giants like David and Elijah found themselves burdened to the point of being disheartened and down for the count. We also know that in our modern world clergy feel overwhelmed more often than not. Consider also that after Mary was visited by the angel with news almost impossible to believe she journeyed to see Elizabeth. You are not alone.
Second, it is important to know that there are resources that can help. You’re here, at the Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy website. We offer tele-mental health, covenant groups, and renewal retreats. In the short term, contact us if you need a mental health professional to speak with, want to engage in a supportive community, or just need some time away for renewal.
Third, take this as a word of encouragement: even if it is difficult—do something that gives you life, reminds you of your call to ministry, or just excites you about ministry. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t have to change the world. Just do one thing that makes a positive impact on you.
Finally, let us know how we can walk alongside you.
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Light
One of my favorite moments during the entire year, is when the 11:00pm Christmas Eve service is completed and I get in my car and I drive around town looking at the farolitos – it’s a perfect time to see them because they are starting to fade a bit but still keeping their light going, as if to say, “I’m still here!”
And I know this feeling – when my light is fading a bit but I’m still working to stay present in the moment and to say, “I’m still here!”
But, what does it feel like when the light has gone out on us? What do we do when we can’t see or feel or know this light we hear so much about?
I must confess that even as I hear this question it feels slightly passive aggressive to me – as if I am implying that something is wrong when we can’t see, touch, feel, or know this ever-present light. As if our faith is mostly a mechanism to bypass negative emotions in favor of delusional positivity.
I have faith. And right now, I have faith that sometimes light is hard to see, and to know, and to feel – and yes, I believe that “the light will shine and the darkness shall not overcome it.”
So today, I ask you to consider: Where does the light overcome – where is the invitation to bring the light in? What is the darkness that hides the light and what do you need to do to invite the light in?
In Grace, Kelly
