Discernment by Nausea in a Season of Remembrance
I recently heard the phrase, Discernment By Nausea and I was immediately drawn to it. Perhaps it is because of the season of Lent that we are entering into or perhaps it is because of the season I have personally found myself in and perhaps it is a little bit of both!
The thought behind this phrase is that we often play it safe when it comes to our lives in faith. We get comfortable in the predictability of our day to day’s – the rhythm of waking up and having that first cup of coffee, walking into our offices and preparing for the day ahead, and simply doing the work instead of experiencing the work that we have been called to. This calling is not always a comfortable experience for us and can make us feel a little queasy at times, but the process of pulling us from that which is uncomfortable to experiencing the fullness of that which we are continually being called to is a process worth exploring.
I encourage each of you to take a deep breathe in and begin to contemplate where the Spirit is leading you – perhaps out of your comfort zone into a season of Discernment By Nausea!
The Chrysalis Team is here to offer support and guidance in this and every season.
Care to you this day,
The Chrysalis Team
Learn MoreThe Most Wonderful Time of the Year…Maybe
The Christmas season has always been a mixed bag for me. Even as a young child and the child of a female pastor in the 1980’s, I felt both the joy and struggle of the season. I believe it was as if the pressures of the holidays and the hustle and bustle were simply too much for my little body to take in. I vaguely remember many Christmas Ev’s feeling as if the Church took precedence over family gatherings and our own joy and excitement as a family around the season, and I was not going to take it! So instead, I was often found lying on the back pew of the pristinely-decorated sanctuary, in a puddle, with my lite candle in hand, with wax dripping all over my newly-pressed Christmas dress.
As a pastor and a mother, I find myself carefully attempting to find a balance between the Church and intentional time with my daughter, so she does not feel and ‘The Church Vs. Family’ situation that I so often experienced. I will admit, I am more so successful at this depending on the year, and arguable the moment. As we all know too well, the Church this time of year does not necessarily or immediately bring a fullness of joy and celebratory emotions to those of us working the line, rather it often produces a frantic rush to assist support staff in decorating and preparing the sanctuary, ensuring the Advent candles are placed so that they will not immediately fall of their stands if breathed on incorrectly, and the worship services are just right – all so everyone knows that this is The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.
The truth is, we are not all that our Christmas Card family photos portray. We are each human beings just trying to create and truly feel a joyful spirit for ourselves and those we care so deeply for.
This year, I encourage each of you (myself included!), to get plenty of exercise, sleep, and rest. Be mindful of your needs, create meaningful connections with those you love dearly, breathe deeply, and give yourself the grace that you tell others to give themselves.
Blessings to you and know that we at Chrysalis are here for you to listen and help you find the hope, love, joy, and peace that this season is all about!
The Chrysalis Team
Learn MoreFaith and Ministry
One of the issues that can exist for pastors is the blurring of the delicate line between faith in God and loyalty to the church. We hear the story often at Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy. A person experiences the grace of God in a profound way, they have a sense of calling to serve God, and they find a way to live out that calling in the church. In one sense this is the beauty of communities of Christ that nurture the gifts of people and empower them to serve.
But what happens when a person’s experience of the church is a difficult one? What happens when a pastor and a congregation are at odds? What happens when a pastor experiences burnout, physical, or mental health issues, in their ministry? Sometimes the experience of ministry makes clergy question their own faith in God. In these moments clergy may equate faith in God with “successful” ministry. Conversely, they may consider the difficulties of ministry as a failure, or lack of faith. In these moments clergy sometimes create a cause/effect relationship between ministry and faith. This is when we at Chrysalis start hearing phrases like, “I just need to pray harder… I need to be more faithful…I can’t forgive myself…”.
Perhaps a healthier understanding of this tension would be to remember that ministry is an expression of our faith in God. Ministry is the vocation in which we live out our faith, but ministry in and of itself is not our faith. Instead, our faith is in God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. God will never fail us. God’s love is steadfast and unfaltering. Ministry has ups and downs. Ministry has peaks and valleys. Because ministry it is inherently tied up with people it is an experiment in the tension of sin and grace. People can fail us and we can fail people. God’s love never fails.
Perhaps this is why it is helpful for clergy and ministry leaders to make frequent analysis of their own spiritual life and practices. A list of devotional and formative practices that inspire and ground clergy is too numerous to compile here. However, clergy tend to know—whether they admit it or not—if they are really paying attention to the spiritual life.
At Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy we are here to walk alongside clergy in supportive ways. If you are struggling with a scenario like the one described above we can help:
- Differentiate between faith and ministry
- Plot out constructive life/ministry balance
- Help identify spiritual practices
- Listen
We are here to help.
Learn MoreLight
One of my favorite moments during the entire year, is when the 11:00pm Christmas Eve service is completed and I get in my car and I drive around town looking at the farolitos – it’s a perfect time to see them because they are starting to fade a bit but still keeping their light going, as if to say, “I’m still here!”
And I know this feeling – when my light is fading a bit but I’m still working to stay present in the moment and to say, “I’m still here!”
But, what does it feel like when the light has gone out on us? What do we do when we can’t see or feel or know this light we hear so much about?
I must confess that even as I hear this question it feels slightly passive aggressive to me – as if I am implying that something is wrong when we can’t see, touch, feel, or know this ever-present light. As if our faith is mostly a mechanism to bypass negative emotions in favor of delusional positivity.
I have faith. And right now, I have faith that sometimes light is hard to see, and to know, and to feel – and yes, I believe that “the light will shine and the darkness shall not overcome it.”
So today, I ask you to consider: Where does the light overcome – where is the invitation to bring the light in? What is the darkness that hides the light and what do you need to do to invite the light in?
In Grace, Kelly