In Search of Joy
I am a sucker for a good story about human survival and the building of resiliency within
individuals and communities. I love the grittiness and messiness that lives in the human
experience and the What Happens Next and What Do We Take From This? I was recently
privileged to hear such a story of tragedy and the ability to great beauty within the rubble. This is
the story of Vedran Smailović, known as the “Cellist of Sarajevo,” and it is a poignant example
of finding and creating beauty in the darkest of times. In the midst of the brutal Siege of Sarajevo
during the 1990s, Smailović chose to play his cello in the ruins of his city, specifically to honor
the 22 people who were killed while waiting in line for bread. His act was more than just a
tribute; it was a defiance against the horrors of war and a statement that beauty, art, and humanity
could persist even in the face of overwhelming darkness.
The message of Smailovićs’ story, and the way it is echoed in the novel The Cellist of Sarajevo,
teaches us that joy and beauty are not just things that happen to us—they are things we can
choose to create and share, even when circumstances seem hopeless. The characters in the novel,
though they do not directly interact with the cellist or each other, are each profoundly affected by
his music. His playing becomes a symbol of resilience and a reminder that the human spirit can
find ways to endure and even flourish, despite the surrounding despair.
In this story, the search for joy is not about finding it in conventional places but about creating it
where it seems impossible. It shows that joy can be an act of resistance, a way to assert one’s
humanity in the face of dehumanizing conditions. The cellist’s music, echoing through a war-torn
city, symbolizes the power of art and the human capacity to find meaning, beauty, and
connection, even when everything else seems lost.
Ultimately, the lesson is that joy is not something passive that we wait for; it is something we
actively cultivate. Even in the darkest times, we can choose to create moments of light, and in
doing so, we can inspire and uplift others around us. This search for joy becomes a lifeline, a
way to maintain hope and dignity when it feels like everything else has been stripped away.
I encourage you – find the light today.
Ouvrons grand les Jeux: Games Wide Open!
Once every four-years, something a bit whimsical and nostalgic happens, and unless you are free
of all media and are perhaps living under a proverbial rock, you know I am referring to the
Summer Olympics! Since 1984 when the games were held in the City of Angels and proudly
touted its mascot, Sam the Olympic Eagle, I have been a dedicated consumer of the Olympic
games. Like many, I have my favorite events to watch, and I am always in awe of what the
human body, mind, and spirit are capable of as each are so openly displayed for all to witness –
and share our opinions and commentary on, even when we have no idea what we are talking
about.
I have always believed we can learn a great deal from the athletes who so proudly share with us
who they are – they are vulnerable and dedicated in ways we can’t always easily comprehend.
This year, another learning moment came to mind as I was comparing this year’s Golden Girls:
US Women’s Gymnastics Team, to teams of the past. There is simply something different that we
are observing this year, and I was having a difficult time naming what this thing was until I came
across a Ted Talk highlighting the differences between Belonging and Fitting In.
Belonging is about being accepted for who you are, feeling a sense of community, and knowing
that your authentic self is valued. It involves mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of
identity within a group. Fitting in, on the other hand, often requires conforming to the
expectations, norms, and standards of a group. It can mean suppressing or changing parts of
oneself to be accepted.
And there it is! What we are privileged to observe during the games this year, and at times be a
part of in our own lives, is what a community can be when the value of Belonging vs. simply
trying to Fit In is at play. When we truly allow those in our midst, including ourselves, be who
they and we are, the community is better for it, and it shows.
I am well aware that I have shown up in social circles, professional settings, and in ministry
trying to Fit In. In some cases, I kept-up the Fitting In Game going until the bitter end, but in
other situations, I allowed my authentic self to appear in an attempt to Belong. What I have
personally discovered is the importance of showing up Day One in an authentic way and not
being so concerned about Fitting In, rather Belonging in spaces that are authentic and true to who
I am and to the community.
My hope and prayer this day, is that we each find our authentic selves – always beautiful and
sometimes messy – and we know the joy of Belonging.
Balcony Time
When I was a child, my favorite place to be in the church was in the balcony. I remember feeling
as if no one could see me as I sat, sang, read, chatted, and shared snacks with my fellow young
balcony dwellers. This space became a haven, a place of freedom and a unique perspective on
the world below.
The balcony provided a literal and metaphorical elevation. From that vantage point, everything
seemed different—clearer, yet somehow more mysterious. It was a place where we felt a certain
autonomy, away from the direct gaze of adults, which allowed us to experience the service in our
own way. The hymns sounded sweeter, the sermons more distant, and the sense of community
among us kids was palpable.
Balcony time was more than just a physical location; it was a state of being. It represented a
space for reflection, camaraderie, and a touch of mischief. We were together, yet also alone in
our thoughts, able to observe the world around us from a safe, elevated distance. It was a place
where we could engage with our surroundings without the pressure of constant scrutiny.
As I reflect on those times, I realize how important that sense of space and freedom was, and still
is! It was a formative experience that taught me the value of having a place to retreat, to gain
perspective, and to simply be myself. In many ways, that balcony time was a microcosm of what
we seek in our daily lives—a balance between community and solitude, engagement and
observation.
Today, the idea of balcony time still resonates. Whether it’s a physical space like a balcony or a
metaphorical one, having a place where we can pause, reflect, and observe is crucial for our
well-being. It’s about finding moments to step back, gain perspective, and appreciate the world
around us from a different angle.
So, let’s cherish those balconies in our lives, both literal and figurative. They remind us of the
importance of creating space for reflection and connection, a place where we can enjoy the view,
both inside and out.
Shame: The Swampland of the Soul
I am a big fan of taking a night and going to the movies. I love the entire process of purchasing the perfect
seat, overpriced movie popcorn, a real coke, and candy. I fully enjoy the corny previews and sincere
attempts by the theater to ensure everyone turns off their cell phones and cut down on chatter. Best of all,
the experience of the movie theater brings a bit of separation and suspension from the world outside and
allows me to live in a space I typically do not occupy.
Unfortunately, due to managing schedules and life in general, I am not able to visit the movie theater
often, but when I heard that Inside Out II was making its way to the theater, I was all in. The Inside Out
movie franchise is one I enjoy quite a bit. As a therapist, I am well aware of the dry well in which many
of us find ourselves in when attempting to identify and name our feelings. I am too well versed in the
various methodologies in attempting to assist people in the art of identifying and naming feelings. Inside
Out is one of those movies that comes along and greatly assists its viewers in an engaging way to visually
understand what feelings are, how they interact together, and the importance that each feeling plays in our
lives. Well done!
For Inside Out II I was interested in the introduction of the new line of feelings, specifically the feeling of
Anxiety and I assumed that we would also be introduced to Shame. I do not know why I was under the
impression that Shame would be included as there was no indication that this would be the case. I knew
from articles written regarding Inside Out I and II that therapist had been consulted in the creating of the
movie, it’s story line, and what feelings to include and I simply assumed we would see Shame. As the
movie progressed, I realized that although I was going to experience Anxiety, Shame would not be
present (one could read a great deal into that statement!). Do not get me wrong, I enjoyed Inside Out II,
but I was curious about the absence of what I view as a critical feeling. So I decided to do a little research,
and discovered that Shame was originally going to be included in the movie, but the producers felt the
feeling was “…too heavy and not fun to watch.”
Carl Jung – Swiss psychiatrist whose work on archetypes and the collective unconscious are still studied
today – is credited with identifying shame as the swampland of the soul. I appreciate the visual this
description brings as shame can be a difficult feeling to explain. In the simplest terms, while the feeling of
guilt is about an action: “I did something bad,” shame is about the self: “I am bad.” Delving into the
feeling of shame is critical as we each work to come to a better understanding of who we are. If we take
time to navigate the swampland of shame, we learn to be vulnerable, empathetic, and care for ourselves
which in turns builds emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.
My hope for you today is that you do not back away from feelings or experiences that seem too heavy, not
fun to watch, or like a swampland. Share your story, learn and grow from each of your experiences, and
perhaps by the time Inside Out III makes its way to theaters, we will finally understand and met Shame.
Blessings on the Journey,
Rev. Dr. Kelly Jackson Brooks, LPCC
Executive Director
Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy
Passing The Torch
This is my absolute favorite photo of my ordination. The photo itself is from the local town
newspaper where I was ordained. The photo is a little grainy and the details are difficult to make
out, which is one of the many reasons this is the photo I have framed in my office.
When I look at this photo, I am reminded of not only the day I was ordained, but I am reminded
of the somewhat grainy and gritty process I took towards that day. I am reminded as well of the
somewhat grainy and gritty place where I was kneeling when United Methodist Bishop, Cynthia
Fierro Harvey, placed her hands on my head. I remember how her hands felt, the shoes she was
wearing, and the smell and feel in the air of the sanctuary where we gathered on this hot summer
Saturday afternoon.
Today, as the anniversary of my ordination approaches, I am reminded of the importance of not
only sharing the grainy and gritty knowledge we have gained on our ministry journeys with
others, but the vital tradition of passing the torch concerning that which we have learned about
ourselves and the leadership positions we have held – the mountain-top experiences, the
growing-edge type of experiences, and everything in-between. This transition of leadership
privilege and knowledge ensures the continuity, growth, and vitality of the church but, it’s
complicated, isn’t it?
We place so much of who we are and our worth in the work that we do, and we often forget the
importance of leaving a place or leadership role in the hands of the generation of leaders who
follow us. We forget that our worth is not tied up with titles or positions, rather how we treated
people and the lessons we gained while holding those roles. Without the passing of the torch and
holding true to who we are as individuals, we are left with gaps in our systems of institutional
leadership, which leads to institutional and personal resentment.
So, I leave you with this – What is your story of grainy and gritty ministries? When was the last
time you shared your story? What does passing the torch look like in your life?
Tell Me a Story
Dear Chrysalis Friends,
As we find ourselves winding down from the hustle and bustle of our most sacred
seasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of finding rest and
solace, even in the busiest of times. It’s during these periods, filled with various
obligations and commitments, that we often forget to pause, breathe, and seek the
rejuvenation that rest offers.
In the midst of our fervent activities, it’s crucial to lean on the support of our friends and
fellow colleagues. Friendship is not merely a luxury but a necessity, especially during
times when our spiritual and emotional reserves may be running low. Let us remember
the beauty of keeping covenant with one another, standing by each other’s side through
the ups and downs of live, offering comfort, encouragement, and solidarity.
With that said, I wish to emphasize the profound significance of sharing our stories with
one another. Our journeys are not always paved with laughter, joy, and success; often,
they are fraught with challenges, setbacks, and moments of darkness. Yet, it is in the
sharing of these stories—whether they have found resolve or not—that we find
connection, empathy, and understanding. Each narrative, each experience, contributes
to the rich tapestry of our collective faith.
In light of this, I am excited to introduce you to the “Tell Me A Story” project—a venture
dedicated to collecting and sharing stories from clergy about their mental health
journeys. Mental health is a topic often shrouded in silence and stigma, particularly
within religious communities. Through this project, we aim to break down barriers, foster
open dialogue, and provide a platform for clergy to share their triumphs, struggles, and
reflections on mental wellness.
I encourage each of you to consider participating in this initiative by submitting your
mental health journey to [email protected] – 500-2000 words. All stories will
be included in a final book collaborative project. Together, let us create a space where
vulnerability is welcomed, where stories are honored, and where healing is nurtured.
May we all find moments of rest and rejuvenation amidst the busyness of our Holy
Seasons. May our friendships grow deeper, our covenant stronger, and our stories
richer through our shared journey of faith.
With warm regards and blessings,
Kelly
Re-Ordering the Photo Frame
As I was walking down the photo frame aisle trying to pick the perfect frame in which to highlight my daughter’s recent drill team competition photo, I found myself longing for my family to be in one of the frames: a photo frame family! You know the photo frame family I am talking about – it’s the photo that actually comes with the frame you purchase of the perfectly positioned family where each member is well-quaffed, well-dressed, and clearly overjoyed to be taking family photos because everything in their life is just so. Alas, my family does not represent the photo frame family and my guess is neither does the majority of families working to simply live into their own day-to-day, and complicated beautifully-woven together lives.
During this Lenten Season of contemplation and reflection, I encourage you to re-order and re-define your picture-frame ideal. What does a re-ordering require of you? What does a re-framing of our frames require of us?
Blessings in this Lenten Season,
The Chrysalis Team
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Movement & Vision
As 2023 comes to a close and 2024 peaks it’s head around the corner, we find ourselves in a place of reflection, remembrance, and resolution. We reflect on all that the year have gifted to us and we remember all the lessons learned. The phase of resolution can be a bit more complicated as it takes into account the phases of reflection and remembrance and attempts to make ‘All things different – All things better!’ The problem with this, is we cannot take get over those stinging experiences that now have become a part of our narrative, neither can we simply sit in the accomplishments and joys of the year. This is truly a time to embed and move forward and through.
One activity that can assist in this movement is called Vision Boarding, rather creating a Vision Board. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals and relates to the direction you would like to take as you move into the upcoming days, weeks, months, and years. There are no rules when it comes to creating a vision board, only the ability to focus on yourself in a creative space.
A little guidance: Find a poster board, collect items that inspire you including magazine cut-outs, photo’s, and other items to affix to the board. Take your time and continually ask yourself, “Who am I?”; “What do I wish for myself?”; “What do I need?”
My word for you this day is Movement. The dedicated staff at Chrysalis is here to listen and encouragement as youfind peace, a stirring, and a movement within yourself this year.
Peace to you,
The Chrysalis Team
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Chrysalis – The Humble Beginnings
The need was clear, and soon Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy, a 501(c)3 organization working with leaders in ministry to obtain and sustain optimal mental, spiritual, and physical health was born.
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