Shame: The Swampland of the Soul
I am a big fan of taking a night and going to the movies. I love the entire process of purchasing the perfect
seat, overpriced movie popcorn, a real coke, and candy. I fully enjoy the corny previews and sincere
attempts by the theater to ensure everyone turns off their cell phones and cut down on chatter. Best of all,
the experience of the movie theater brings a bit of separation and suspension from the world outside and
allows me to live in a space I typically do not occupy.
Unfortunately, due to managing schedules and life in general, I am not able to visit the movie theater
often, but when I heard that Inside Out II was making its way to the theater, I was all in. The Inside Out
movie franchise is one I enjoy quite a bit. As a therapist, I am well aware of the dry well in which many
of us find ourselves in when attempting to identify and name our feelings. I am too well versed in the
various methodologies in attempting to assist people in the art of identifying and naming feelings. Inside
Out is one of those movies that comes along and greatly assists its viewers in an engaging way to visually
understand what feelings are, how they interact together, and the importance that each feeling plays in our
lives. Well done!
For Inside Out II I was interested in the introduction of the new line of feelings, specifically the feeling of
Anxiety and I assumed that we would also be introduced to Shame. I do not know why I was under the
impression that Shame would be included as there was no indication that this would be the case. I knew
from articles written regarding Inside Out I and II that therapist had been consulted in the creating of the
movie, it’s story line, and what feelings to include and I simply assumed we would see Shame. As the
movie progressed, I realized that although I was going to experience Anxiety, Shame would not be
present (one could read a great deal into that statement!). Do not get me wrong, I enjoyed Inside Out II,
but I was curious about the absence of what I view as a critical feeling. So I decided to do a little research,
and discovered that Shame was originally going to be included in the movie, but the producers felt the
feeling was “…too heavy and not fun to watch.”
Carl Jung – Swiss psychiatrist whose work on archetypes and the collective unconscious are still studied
today – is credited with identifying shame as the swampland of the soul. I appreciate the visual this
description brings as shame can be a difficult feeling to explain. In the simplest terms, while the feeling of
guilt is about an action: “I did something bad,” shame is about the self: “I am bad.” Delving into the
feeling of shame is critical as we each work to come to a better understanding of who we are. If we take
time to navigate the swampland of shame, we learn to be vulnerable, empathetic, and care for ourselves
which in turns builds emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.
My hope for you today is that you do not back away from feelings or experiences that seem too heavy, not
fun to watch, or like a swampland. Share your story, learn and grow from each of your experiences, and
perhaps by the time Inside Out III makes its way to theaters, we will finally understand and met Shame.
Blessings on the Journey,
Rev. Dr. Kelly Jackson Brooks, LPCC
Executive Director
Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy
Passing The Torch
This is my absolute favorite photo of my ordination. The photo itself is from the local town
newspaper where I was ordained. The photo is a little grainy and the details are difficult to make
out, which is one of the many reasons this is the photo I have framed in my office.
When I look at this photo, I am reminded of not only the day I was ordained, but I am reminded
of the somewhat grainy and gritty process I took towards that day. I am reminded as well of the
somewhat grainy and gritty place where I was kneeling when United Methodist Bishop, Cynthia
Fierro Harvey, placed her hands on my head. I remember how her hands felt, the shoes she was
wearing, and the smell and feel in the air of the sanctuary where we gathered on this hot summer
Saturday afternoon.
Today, as the anniversary of my ordination approaches, I am reminded of the importance of not
only sharing the grainy and gritty knowledge we have gained on our ministry journeys with
others, but the vital tradition of passing the torch concerning that which we have learned about
ourselves and the leadership positions we have held – the mountain-top experiences, the
growing-edge type of experiences, and everything in-between. This transition of leadership
privilege and knowledge ensures the continuity, growth, and vitality of the church but, it’s
complicated, isn’t it?
We place so much of who we are and our worth in the work that we do, and we often forget the
importance of leaving a place or leadership role in the hands of the generation of leaders who
follow us. We forget that our worth is not tied up with titles or positions, rather how we treated
people and the lessons we gained while holding those roles. Without the passing of the torch and
holding true to who we are as individuals, we are left with gaps in our systems of institutional
leadership, which leads to institutional and personal resentment.
So, I leave you with this – What is your story of grainy and gritty ministries? When was the last
time you shared your story? What does passing the torch look like in your life?
Tell Me a Story
Dear Chrysalis Friends,
As we find ourselves winding down from the hustle and bustle of our most sacred
seasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of finding rest and
solace, even in the busiest of times. It’s during these periods, filled with various
obligations and commitments, that we often forget to pause, breathe, and seek the
rejuvenation that rest offers.
In the midst of our fervent activities, it’s crucial to lean on the support of our friends and
fellow colleagues. Friendship is not merely a luxury but a necessity, especially during
times when our spiritual and emotional reserves may be running low. Let us remember
the beauty of keeping covenant with one another, standing by each other’s side through
the ups and downs of live, offering comfort, encouragement, and solidarity.
With that said, I wish to emphasize the profound significance of sharing our stories with
one another. Our journeys are not always paved with laughter, joy, and success; often,
they are fraught with challenges, setbacks, and moments of darkness. Yet, it is in the
sharing of these stories—whether they have found resolve or not—that we find
connection, empathy, and understanding. Each narrative, each experience, contributes
to the rich tapestry of our collective faith.
In light of this, I am excited to introduce you to the “Tell Me A Story” project—a venture
dedicated to collecting and sharing stories from clergy about their mental health
journeys. Mental health is a topic often shrouded in silence and stigma, particularly
within religious communities. Through this project, we aim to break down barriers, foster
open dialogue, and provide a platform for clergy to share their triumphs, struggles, and
reflections on mental wellness.
I encourage each of you to consider participating in this initiative by submitting your
mental health journey to [email protected] – 500-2000 words. All stories will
be included in a final book collaborative project. Together, let us create a space where
vulnerability is welcomed, where stories are honored, and where healing is nurtured.
May we all find moments of rest and rejuvenation amidst the busyness of our Holy
Seasons. May our friendships grow deeper, our covenant stronger, and our stories
richer through our shared journey of faith.
With warm regards and blessings,
Kelly
Re-Ordering the Photo Frame
As I was walking down the photo frame aisle trying to pick the perfect frame in which to highlight my daughter’s recent drill team competition photo, I found myself longing for my family to be in one of the frames: a photo frame family! You know the photo frame family I am talking about – it’s the photo that actually comes with the frame you purchase of the perfectly positioned family where each member is well-quaffed, well-dressed, and clearly overjoyed to be taking family photos because everything in their life is just so. Alas, my family does not represent the photo frame family and my guess is neither does the majority of families working to simply live into their own day-to-day, and complicated beautifully-woven together lives.
During this Lenten Season of contemplation and reflection, I encourage you to re-order and re-define your picture-frame ideal. What does a re-ordering require of you? What does a re-framing of our frames require of us?
Blessings in this Lenten Season,
The Chrysalis Team
Learn MoreMovement & Vision
As 2023 comes to a close and 2024 peaks it’s head around the corner, we find ourselves in a place of reflection, remembrance, and resolution. We reflect on all that the year have gifted to us and we remember all the lessons learned. The phase of resolution can be a bit more complicated as it takes into account the phases of reflection and remembrance and attempts to make ‘All things different – All things better!’ The problem with this, is we cannot take get over those stinging experiences that now have become a part of our narrative, neither can we simply sit in the accomplishments and joys of the year. This is truly a time to embed and move forward and through.
One activity that can assist in this movement is called Vision Boarding, rather creating a Vision Board. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals and relates to the direction you would like to take as you move into the upcoming days, weeks, months, and years. There are no rules when it comes to creating a vision board, only the ability to focus on yourself in a creative space.
A little guidance: Find a poster board, collect items that inspire you including magazine cut-outs, photo’s, and other items to affix to the board. Take your time and continually ask yourself, “Who am I?”; “What do I wish for myself?”; “What do I need?”
My word for you this day is Movement. The dedicated staff at Chrysalis is here to listen and encouragement as youfind peace, a stirring, and a movement within yourself this year.
Peace to you,
The Chrysalis Team
Learn MoreChrysalis – The Humble Beginnings
The need was clear, and soon Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy, a 501(c)3 organization working with leaders in ministry to obtain and sustain optimal mental, spiritual, and physical health was born.
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