How We Gather
For the past week, I have found myself serving the United Methodist Church’s General
Conference as a Page. A Page, in this setting, is akin to a legislative runner as the work primarily
takes place up close and personal on the floor of each conference session, ensuring the voting
delegates have what they need, and that information flows with little disruption to those who
need it for the work of the whole to ultimately and seamlessly accomplish the goals of the
conference.
Without getting into the weeds of this process or the polity of the United Methodist Church, I
wanted to take a moment to reflect on how we as humans choose to gather, organize, and
fellowship with one-another. This process of how we do life together is what the fields of
psychology, sociology, and the like refer to as Systems Theory. This intrinsic manner of
organizing dates to the beginning of the reporting of humankind, as all creation came to be
organized in systems of connectionism. We know that systems are not intended to remain static
as evolutions in the system occur and often create stress fractures as a side effect of growth – and
as systems are created to do, the system adjusts.
What has struck me as curious on multiple occasions during the first week of this gathering is
how this subset of people operate in this ever-evolving and stress-fractured system. Unlike
organically created systems, this particular system has been created out of choice, and those who
continue to operate within this system have endured the test of time and continue to do so out of
choice. This choice to gather, organize, and fellowship is one that brings the highest sense of joy
and accomplishment to many, and simultaneously brings the most challenging and painful points
of harm and anguish to many – and the system adjusts.
The choice of how we gather and the system we choose to participate in is ours to make.
Whether we choose to gather with friends or family at the dinner table; or we choose to gather in
conference-style settings; or we choose to gather for worship in community or in solidarity; or
we choose to gather in protest; or we choose to gather over the simple elements of grape and
grain; We choose to gather…
So today, I invite you to take a moment to reflect on how you choose to gather. I encourage you
to reflect on the polarity between joy and accomplishments from systems you choose to
participate in, and the painful points of harm and anguish that these fractured systems sometimes
cause, because it is in the reflection of it all, where we find ourselves – and the system adjusts.
Blessings on this journey,
Kelly
www.ChrysalisCounselingForClergy.org
How Does Your Garden Grow
In my romanticized version of spring, I take myself as an urban gardener – not farmer, but a
gardener. And I say romanticized as it is the warming of the days and in the cooling temperatures
of the evenings that I find myself inspired and joyfully shopping for flowers and plants at the
nursery next to my home as I imagine what my urban garden will be in just a few days’ time.
The problem being: I seem to lack the patience to maintain and nurture the plethora of flowers
that I purchase and planted on Day One. I quickly forget to water, weed, and nurture my
romanticized version of my urban garden.
To give a little context – My mother was raised on a farm and my father was raised on a ranch,
both in Eastern New Mexico. Based on stories told by family, my father quickly realized that the
ranch life was not for him, and my mother took the approach that planting edible vegetation was
equal to work and memories of childhood chores, and now leans toward the flower-only type of
gardening – which I will add, she excels at!
And isn’t this life? We each possess romanticized versions of one thing or another based on
stories we are told or read about, we became excited and engaged, and then we lose steam
becoming discouraged or even disgruntled. We easily can point to scripture references of
flourishing gardens – from Genesis to Revelation, to the first appearance of Christ, there is no
lack of leasons in foliage. When we are in our romanticized selves, we sometimes forget the
bountiful scripture references that exist that point us to the challenges in tending, weeding, and
pruning – the very lessons that we must learn to fully appreciate what we sow.
Today, I invite you to consider what it entails to grow your metaphoric garden – starting at the
excitement of the season, to weeding and pruning, and finally to the celebration of the harvest.
Bountiful blessing to you in this season,
Kelly
Free Moon Pies!
Last Monday, I had the opportunity to view the eclipse in Dallas, TX with a group of clergy
leaders from various parts of the southern region of the United States. The event was met with
great optimism despite the cloud coverage was predicted to be great, with little chance of a clear
view of this celestial event. As is the case with so many unpredictable and uncertain
circumstances, the cloud coverage seemed to only be earlier in the day, and the eclipse showed
itself around 1:40pm with all the grandeur and joy we were each promised. The moment was
even greeted with the song Total Eclipse of the Heart playing loudly from speakers in the area
and Moon Pies freely distributed. What a day!
It would be easy for me in this moment to wax and wane in an attempt to compare the eclipse to
our lives in ministry. To say things like, “In essence, while an eclipse may symbolize temporary
darkness and disruption, it also represents the cyclical nature of change and the potential for
renewal. Likewise, the challenges faced by clergy during uncertain times can be seen as
opportunities for personal and spiritual growth, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of
their role and a stronger connection to their communities.” But, this is not how I authentically
experienced this extraordinary event. What I experienced was awe – and an awe that I was able
to experience in a community I choose to share this particular day and this particular moment
with. Perhaps it’s as simple as that.
I believe this is the gift of extraordinary events – events that give us the sense of awe and joy,
laughter and the sharing of nostalgic music and moon pies.
So, take time today to open yourself up to experience the extraordinary gift of community and
awe, perhaps even a moon pie.
With gratitude, Kelly
Photo Credit: Jeff Blaylock
A Note of Retreat
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, particularly in professions demanding emotional and
spiritual care like clergy, it’s easy to overlook the critical need for retreat. Yet, statistics on clergy
burnout and saturation serve as a stark reminder of the urgency to prioritize self-care and renewal
practices within our spiritual communities.
According to a study by the Schaffer Institute, around 1,500 pastors leave their ministries each
month in the United States due to burnout or conflict. In addition, anxiety rates among clergy are
13.5% (in comparison to 4.2% general population); 23% depression (8.6% in standard
population); 71% cannot name a meaningful hobby outside of the church; 71% cannot name
close friends; and 83% of clergy believe that pastoral ministry affects their personal relationships
negatively. These statistics are alarming, shedding light on the profound challenges faced by
clergy members in maintaining their well-being amidst the demands of their roles.
In the face of such sobering statistics, retreat emerges as a powerful antidote to negative clergy
wellness. Retreats offer clergy members the opportunity to step away from the relentless
demands of ministry, providing a sacred space for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation.
It is a standing principle of Chrysalis, that incorporating retreats into the rhythm of ministry is
not a luxury but a necessity which is why, last week, Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy held our
12 th Rest & Renewal Retreat encompassing 10 participants and presenters, representing 7 states
and 4 denominations. These spiritual leaders covenanted to prioritized retreat as part of their self-
care regimen, and by doing so, they have invested in their own well-being to ensure their
sustainability in the sacred work of serving others.
In a culture that often glorifies busyness and productivity, the importance of retreat cannot be
overstated, especially for clergy navigating the complexities of pastoral ministry. As we confront
the sobering reality of concerning negative clergy wellness statistics, let us recommit ourselves
to the vital practice of retreat – wherever you find it! – nurturing our souls, and safeguarding the
sacred flame of our calling.
May we heed the call to rest, renew, and return to our ministries with hearts replenished and
spirits restored.
Kelly
Tell Me a Story
Dear Chrysalis Friends,
As we find ourselves winding down from the hustle and bustle of our most sacred
seasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of finding rest and
solace, even in the busiest of times. It’s during these periods, filled with various
obligations and commitments, that we often forget to pause, breathe, and seek the
rejuvenation that rest offers.
In the midst of our fervent activities, it’s crucial to lean on the support of our friends and
fellow colleagues. Friendship is not merely a luxury but a necessity, especially during
times when our spiritual and emotional reserves may be running low. Let us remember
the beauty of keeping covenant with one another, standing by each other’s side through
the ups and downs of live, offering comfort, encouragement, and solidarity.
With that said, I wish to emphasize the profound significance of sharing our stories with
one another. Our journeys are not always paved with laughter, joy, and success; often,
they are fraught with challenges, setbacks, and moments of darkness. Yet, it is in the
sharing of these stories—whether they have found resolve or not—that we find
connection, empathy, and understanding. Each narrative, each experience, contributes
to the rich tapestry of our collective faith.
In light of this, I am excited to introduce you to the “Tell Me A Story” project—a venture
dedicated to collecting and sharing stories from clergy about their mental health
journeys. Mental health is a topic often shrouded in silence and stigma, particularly
within religious communities. Through this project, we aim to break down barriers, foster
open dialogue, and provide a platform for clergy to share their triumphs, struggles, and
reflections on mental wellness.
I encourage each of you to consider participating in this initiative by submitting your
mental health journey to [email protected] – 500-2000 words. All stories will
be included in a final book collaborative project. Together, let us create a space where
vulnerability is welcomed, where stories are honored, and where healing is nurtured.
May we all find moments of rest and rejuvenation amidst the busyness of our Holy
Seasons. May our friendships grow deeper, our covenant stronger, and our stories
richer through our shared journey of faith.
With warm regards and blessings,
Kelly
Holy Week
As we enter into Holy Week, I wanted to share something a little different than past traditional
blog post – I wanted to share something you could actively engage in.
This week, I invite you to participate in this interactive approach in experiencing Holy Week that
I hope you find introspective, enlightening, and most of all – hopeful.
Welcome to Holy Week –
Your Chrysalis Team
Exploring the Depths: Stations of The Cross
Welcome to Exploring the Depths: An Interactive View of the Stations of The Cross. This 7-
Station in-depth reflection will take you throughout the city of Albuquerque NM to reflect,
meditate, and pray. If you are not in the city, an image and/or information has been hyperlinked
so you can participate wherever you are located. Feel free to customize to reflect your
community.
Please take time during Holy Week to complete the exercise, or feel free to explore each station
in one day. We just ask that you take time to fully take in the experience.
Blessings on the journey.
Station 1: Jesus Prays (Matthew 26:36-41)
Place: Public Labyrinth @ The Center For Action and Contemplation, Richard Rohr
https://cac.org/about/visitor-center.org
Thoughts: Prayer takes so many forms – Folded hands, a rosary, kneeling, and words in a
prayer book, are all images that come to mind. Jesus in Gethsemane is also a powerful
picture of prayer. The image comes into even greater relief when the disciples are
pictured sleeping a stone’s throw away. I also see labyrinths used a lot to represent
prayer. The labyrinth is a centuries old type of walking prayer. It is not a direct path; just
like prayer is often not a direct path. Instead, the labyrinth’s circumlocution awakens us
to the twists and turns of our own lives. Unlike mazes which try to confuse walkers, the
labyrinth’s non-linear path is designed to invite the pilgrim to pay close attention to their
heart space as they make their journey to the center. The path of Holy Week does not
move in a straight line. Instead, the last week of Jesus’ life is a journey to the cross
marked by intimacy, emotions, pathos, surprise, grief, and even joy.
Questions for Reflection:
1) As you walk the labyrinth, what distracts you as you journey to the center?
2) What does the center of the labyrinth represent for you? Similarly, what do the outer
rings symbolize? The inner rings? The entrance/exit?
3) Is there an invitation for you through your experience of immersing yourself in the
labyrinth?
Station 2: Jesus is Betrayed (Mark 14:43-46)
Place: Public Mirror Mural Project https://www.visitalbuquerque.org/event/making-
mosaic-mirrors-part-1/56033/
Thoughts: What we see happening in the world is a reflection of what is happening
within us. When we notice arrogance and greed around us, it’s often because we are
working with unconscious arrogance and greed from within. The indignation we feel
toward someone is the indignation we have ourselves. I am often reminded to look
internally when I look externally.
Questions for Reflection:
1) In what ways do you project your own feelings of self onto others?
2) How you attempt to control the uncontrollable in others or in the world around you?
3) What are ways you can work on your realm of control to best prepare you to be
present in those areas you have no control?
Station 3: Jesus is Condemned (Luke 22:66-71)
Place: Courthouse Corner Bernalillo County Metro Court 401 Lomas Blvd, NW;
Second Judicial District Court Bernalillo County 400 Lomas NW; Pete V
Domenici US Courthouse 333 Lomas Blvd, NW
https://www.cabq.gov/community-services/safety-legal/courts-and-legal
Thoughts: Our lot in life is not so easily determined by how “good” or “bad” we
are. We so often condemn or forgive according to our whims. If I am angry or
feeling self-righteous, I may not give you compassion or empathy. If you are
hungry, you may lose your patience with me quickly. This black and white, wrong
or right, up or down, in our outward way of seeing the world is called dualism. The
reality is that the two-sided coin we hold is an illusion made up by our self-
centered collective egos. It is not either/or, but both/and. There are always
multidimensional ways of seeing. What if we started seeing in this non-dualistic
way?
Questions for Reflection:
1) How do we seek justice while also showing compassion and empathy?
2) How did Jesus seek justice while also showing compassion and empathy?
3) How have we, as a society and individually, skewed the word justice to be synonymous
with revenge?
Station 4: Jesus is Mocked (John 19:1-3)
Place: Washington Middle School Shooting August 13 th 2021
https://abcnews.go.com/US/middle-schooler-fatally-shot-fellow-student-
albuquerque/story?id=79402045
Thoughts: The mocking, shaming, taunting, belittling, disparaging of others is some of
the vilest actions we as humans engage in. Some of these actions are more overt than
others, while more are much more nuanced and commonplace. These traumatic acts have
long-lasting impacts on both parties – the offenders and the victims – and we embed
these acts as individuals and as a society in various ways.
Questions for Reflection:
1) What do we feel when we are mocked?
2) How do people often respond when someone near the, including their friends, are
mocked? How do you respond?
3) When considering our scripture and Station where someone stood up for another and was
murdered, does it make sense why Jesus’ friends said and did nothing?
Station 5: Jesus is Crucified (Luke 23:33-34)
Place: New Mexico State University/University New Mexico Shooting November 23,
2022 https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/35060858/new-
mexico-state-new-mexico-basketball-game-postponed-shooting
Thoughts: Life is sacrificial. We can’t seem to help but interact with, and bring about
death no matter what we do or how we live, but we can be more conscious of it.
Becoming conscious of the sacredness of all life is transformative.
Questions for Reflection:
1) How do we acknowledge the reality From dust we come, to dust we shall return?
2) What does it mean to recognize the sacredness in yourself and in others? How does this
affect how you live your life in the day-to-day?
3) Re-read Luke 23:33-34 and reflect on 1-2 words to consider throughout your day. What
do these words say or mean to you. How do you use these words or phrases to elevate
your sense of sacredness?
Station 6: Jesus Dies (Luke 23: 44-46)
Place: West Mesa Women and Descanso
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Mesa_murders
https://blogs.loc.gov/law/2023/10/descansos-roadside-memorials/
Thoughts: Jesus’ death by the Romans, was meant to be part spectacle and part
deterrence. Make no mistake about it, the Romans demonstrated through their policy of
public execution that they had zero tolerance for those who wished to step out of line.
Like the cartels in Juarez, Mexico who hang bodies from bridges, or what is happening in
Haiti right now, death on display can be an effective way to scare people. But what about
death in the dark? What about the innumerable people who are “disappeared?” What
about the nameless, the trafficked, and the discarded? Perhaps in some ways, their deaths
are even more terrifying. In a world without justice anyone’s life can become
disposable. Thank God that there were those who were willing to grieve through the
Roman spectacle so that they could be near the Jesus that they loved. May we all find a
way to stand as witnesses to the ones who have been disappeared.
Questions for Reflection:
1) Read Luke 23: 44-46. What do you feel when you read, “Jesus breathed his last?”
2) Allow your imagination to place you at the scene of Jesus’ crucifixion. What do you
see, hear, feel, in the crowd? Can you look upon Jesus’ face? What does this moment in
the story of Holy Week say to you in terms of discipleship and what it means to follow
the Master?
3) How have you been invited to stand witness for someone who has died? How do you
bear witness to family members or loved ones who have died? How do you honor them
or remember them? What would be a way for you to remember the nameless and
forgotten?
Station 7: Jesus Rises Easter Sunrise – Home Service
As Holy Weeks ends and we come to our 7 th Station of the Cross on this Easter morning, we
journey to the tomb with Mary Magdalene and discover the stone is rolled away. An empty grave
remains and with joy, we discover that Christ Jesus has risen.
This morning, you are invited to seek a quiet space where you can minimize interruptions and
take a few moments to enter the silence and beauty of this Easter morning.
Let yourself sink deeply into the quiet and invite God in. Read through the order of service – the
liturgy, poems, and scripture. Pay attention to the words, the sounds – what you are reading and
hearing. As you read and hear, notice which words or phrases catch your attention.
Take time to journal your thoughts or impressions:
What new ways of seeing or hearing are opening for you?
What truth do you hear that intersects with the unfolding of your life?
What parts call you to be present or to see in an entirely different way?
How does this worship reflect or resonate with your own experience? What
insights does it spark?
Sunrise Service – Order of Service
Call to Worship
Christ has risen! Christ has risen indeed.
Faith, hope, and joy are alive.
A new age is dawning, and death cannot harm us.
Prayer
Creator God, I am here in the early morning of your Resurrection. I have been mourning and
weeping, believing that you have been taken from us. Instead, you meet me in the garden of new
life. Here, in this sacred place, I discover that you are alive, that sin and death cannot defeat you.
Now my tears of sorrow turn to tears of joy as I fully experience your very presence. Today, I sit
and listen, and I begin to understand that joy comes from grief. You call me again and again to
go into the world to share this good news, and because I am never left alone, I am reminded to
pray…Lord’s Prayer
Scripture Reading
John 20:1-18
Poetry for Meditation
When Death Comes by Mary Oliver
When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright
coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measle-pox;
when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, I want to step through the door
full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as
no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility, and I think of each life as a
flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular, and each name a comfortable music in the
mouth, tending, as all music does, toward silence, and each body a lion of courage, and
something precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I
have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and
frightened, or full of argument. I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
The Death of Death By Scott Cairns
Put fear aside. Now that he has entered into death on our behalf, all who live no longer die as
men once died. That ephemeral occasion has met its utter end. As seeds cast to the earth, we will
not perish, but like those seeds shall rise again—the shroud of death itself having been burst to
tatters by love’s immensity.
Benediction
Take time to simply sit in silence and as the closing benediction, you are invited to compose your
own short prayer as a response. Amen
Ultimate? Penultimate? Antepenultimate?
I remember in my Greek class in seminary a discussion of terms related to what we might call “the end.” Of course the term we used to describe the final conclusion of something was “ultimate.” What came just prior to the ultimate was “penultimate.” And what was just before that which was just before the ultimate was the “antepenultimate.” For some reason those terms have stuck with me over these last 30 plus years.
I mention this because if Holy Week is the ultimate in terms of the last week of Jesus’ life and ministry, then we might describe ourselves as being in the penultimate week of Jesus’ life and ministry. In terms of pastoral health and wholeness it seems to me that this might be one of those weeks when pastors ask themselves “What is next to the end?”
In May of last year Chrysalis had a table at the Festival of Homiletics in Minneapolis. Every day, pastor after pastor passed by our table for conversation, fliers, and stress balls. In our conversations I heard so many pastors talk about how they were trying to find a way to leave the ministry. The common themes were burnout, bad behavior of parishioners (especially during the pandemic), and financial struggles. All of these faithful pastors had seemingly reached the point where ministry was the penultimate moment in their career. In other words, they would leave the ministry fo another ultimate end.
My suspicion is that those who leave the ministry didn’t plan on it that way. These folks probably imagined that they would retire as pastors. But so much has changed in our world, in denominations, and in local churches, that at Chrysalis we see this a lot.
Perhaps in this week before THE week, it is worth some time considering where your ministry is related to the “ultimate” for you. What is your life telling you? What is your body telling you? What are the relationships in your life indicating to you? Are you just trying to get through things, or are you engaged and active and alive in your work? Is ministry your ultimate? Or, perhaps you are like one of those folks looking for a new ultimate.
Whatever the case, we are here to listen, to care, and offer feedback. Reach out.
With Hope,
The Chrysalis Team
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Chrysalis – The Humble Beginnings
In January 2020, I defended my dissertation for my Doctorate in Ministry with Claremont School of Theology focusing on sustainable clergy rest and renewal practices. Shortly after my return from defending what felt like a life-long piece of art, a colleague said to me, “Good for you, now you can hang your diploma on your wall and put your dissertation in your bookshelf so both can collect dust.” I was a bit taken back, but almost in an instant made the decision to take that comment as a challenge and a discernment point as to what to do next.
Within a month, I was asked to consider repeating the retreat I had facilitated in 2019 as a part of my DMIN project – the word seemed to be out that the retreat was helpful, beneficial, and much needed for clergy who were experiencing tenderness in ministry. As I began to plan a second retreat, I began receiving requests for therapy from clergy and to speak to therapist about working with clergy who were struggling in the field – in addition to being an ordained United Methodist Pastor, I am also an independently licensed mental health counselor, and a counselor Continuing Education provider.
As 2020 progressed and COVID became a reality within the states, the requests to work with fellow clergy and counselors continued to grow. It was clear, fellow clergy needed specialized mental health services and mental health providers needed a place to be trained in order to best serve clergy.
Before long, I was sharing my thoughts about beginning a non-profit with close friends and colleagues. As I shared my thoughts, faces lit up, and personal stories were shared. The need was clear, and soon Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy, a 501(c)3 (originally named: Chrysalis Counseling Center For Clergy) was born.
Since the organization’s inception in 2019, Chrysalis has served 132 individual clergy members through eleven Rest & Renewal Retreats (2 in 2019; 1 in 2020; 2 in 2021; 2 in 2022; 3 in 2023; 1 in 2024…); 48 tele-mental health clients; 32 clergy served through three Covenant Group cycles; and 78 mental health therapists have been provided with continuing education units through CEU workshops….and we keep going!
I am humbled to be part of this organization and I am always open to talking more about the services we offer – Please contact us for more information.
Grace & Peace,
Rev. Dr. Kelly Jackson Brooks, LPCC
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Feeling The Darkness – Finding The Light In Ministry
I was recently asked about my thoughts on the phrases:
“Hurt people, Hurt people” and “Silent people kill churches.”
It took me a bit to ponder these thoughts for myself, as I have so often used these phrases as a therapeutic tool in the sacred space found in my therapy room. I don’t know how these two phrases have, or have not, played a role in your lives but I would like you to consider: Have you ever felt supported by individuals but not believed by an institution? Have you ever felt hurt by the hurt, or silence? Have you ever found yourself the perpetrator of the hurt or the one who is asking another to keep silent?
The reality is, there are many ways that hurt and silence bring us to a place of darkness – regardless of who is initially causing these feelings because in the end, we all ultimately feel the darkness in these situation.
So how then, do we find the light in ministry and beyond?
We listen. We affirm. We remain steadfast to those who we have covenanted with even when it’s dark because friends, we are promised the light.
The Chrysalis Team is here to offer support and guidance in the darkness and back into the light.
Care to you this day,
The Chrysalis Team
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Re-Ordering the Photo Frame
As I was walking down the photo frame aisle trying to pick the perfect frame in which to highlight my daughter’s recent drill team competition photo, I found myself longing for my family to be in one of the frames: a photo frame family! You know the photo frame family I am talking about – it’s the photo that actually comes with the frame you purchase of the perfectly positioned family where each member is well-quaffed, well-dressed, and clearly overjoyed to be taking family photos because everything in their life is just so. Alas, my family does not represent the photo frame family and my guess is neither does the majority of families working to simply live into their own day-to-day, and complicated beautifully-woven together lives.
During this Lenten Season of contemplation and reflection, I encourage you to re-order and re-define your picture-frame ideal. What does a re-ordering require of you? What does a re-framing of our frames require of us?
Blessings in this Lenten Season,
The Chrysalis Team
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