Chrysalis News
To Celebrate or to Sit?
Have you ever been privy to a conversation or message where you can literally only remember one phrase or comment shared? I had that moment today as I sat passively during worship and the comment and question posed was this: “Do you celebrate restoration in the here and now or do you sit in resentment in the past?”
I have always taken myself to be a forward-thinking person, but I admit, I...
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How Does Your Garden Grow: The Tale of the Fig Tree
There is something magical about this time of year. It’s the time where you see and hear your neighbors in their yards cleaning out debris left from the fall, and preparing for what flowers and foliage is peeking up and planned. The temperatures are rising, but it’s not yet unbearable to spend several hours deep in the soil or laying fresh mulch. I love the sounds of the birds and the many...
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Lamentation: What Do You Lament?
I am a big fan of stained glass – specifically stained glass that is used to enhance worship spaces in cathedrals and sanctuaries across the globe. The craftsmanship, the detail, and the various styles which depict the various narratives and notions of the Christian faith are captivating to me. I particularly appreciate unique stained glass that tells a story, but only if you are paying...
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Living in the Wilderness: A Desert of Life or a Desert of Despair
The climate where I live in Albuquerque New Mexico is referred to as High Desert Climate. The high desert climate is characterized by dry and warm summers, cold winters, and low rainfall. The topography is such that the Sandia Mountain range – which at its highest point measuring 10,678 feet – circles fast parts of the city with vistas reaching into what feels like uncharted...
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Seasons: Ashes and Lent
It’s that time of year in the rhythm and ritual of the Christian Calander– 40-days; not counting Sunday’s – in which we prepare our hearts and minds for a season of introspection and remembrance. The time when we feast on King’s Cake and pancakes, plan for fish on Friday’s, and mark our days with considerations of giving up and taking up. I personally look forward to the celebrations...
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The Importance of Marking Time: Grief, Anniversaries, and Ritual
One year ago, in accordance and affirmed by the United Methodist Church Book of Discipline, I began a 4-month Renewal Leave where I continued to represent my appointment in various annual conference, jurisdictional, and general church matters – but, I was no longer 24/7 with the local church. Effective July 1st, 2024 I began my full-time Extension Ministry appointment to Chrysalis Counseling...
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Lessons from the Beatitudes
This morning in church, the pastor spoke about the beauty and relevance in today’s world of the Beatitudes – which reminded me of a conversation I had a year or so ago with a colleague about the push to post the 10 Commandments in parts of the country in the public schools. Our conversation had turned to the question: “What if we as a society focused on the beatitudes and not so much...
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Performative Activism and the Faith Community: Whose Voice Are You Giving a Voice To?
This week, I was confronted by a dear friend with the term Performative Activism. This friend of mine – who does not claim Christianity but lives a more Christian life than many self-proclaiming Christians I know – contacted me to discuss what she has been witnessing as perceived Performative Activism demonstrated by countless activism walks and other signs of collective protest. To my...
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The Sacred Power of Creative Resistance
For many reasons, this past week has been a painfully challenging week for me. In seeking consult and comfort throughout the various tosses and turns of the week, I have been reminded of the privilege and importance of both my voice, the collective voice, and the significant power and privilege of creative resistance. Throughout history, voice and creativity has been a force of defiance,...
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Collectivist vs. Individualist: Respecting One Another
I see myself as a curious observer to the human experience. I have always found a great deal of satisfaction simply sitting and watching as others engage in life experiences. An observation which always holds truth, is that we as humans tend towards being collectivist or individualist – although we can play in both spaces, we are more comfortable in one over the other. These two frameworks...
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The Art of Balance: Functioning Vs. Performing
Last week, I was sitting in my therapy room with a client who spoke candidly about their habit of over-functioning and their understood lack of performing. I was reminded that in today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to blur the line between functioning and performing – and I have often fallen into the whole of functioning while convincing myself I was performing. While these concepts are often...
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The Holiness of No – A Practice in Self-Care
I was reminded this past week of a time I never said No – No to attending a meeting, No to attending a conference, No to rearranging my schedule and my own needs to fit the needs of another. This inability to say No had an great impact on me, and not the way I desired – It changed the way others invited me in; It altered the way I operated in my day-t0-day life; It had a profound effect on my...
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It’s a Wrap! Year-End Review
As we close out another impactful year, it’s incredible to see how far Chrysalis has come since its inception in 2019. What started as a vision during my Doctor of Ministry (DMIN) project has grown into a thriving ministry that continues to make a difference in the lives of clergy across the United States.
Rolling Numbers Update
Since the first retreat in April 2019, Chrysalis has...
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What’s My Vision?
For the past three years, just as the year is ending a new year is on the horizon, my daughter and I have made a trip to the local craft store where we purchase a generous amount of miscellaneous supplies including stickers, markers, poster board, and decorative paper. Before returning to the house, we pick-up Starbucks and some snacks as we prepare to set the stage appropriately for our...
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Emmanuel: “God With Us”
The Fourth Sunday of Advent is a time of profound reflection and anticipation. As we light the fourth candle, our hearts turn to Mary and Elizabeth—two women bound by shared experiences, mutual encouragement, and a deep awareness of God’s presence. Their story, found in Luke 1:39-56, reminds us of the importance of knowing we are not alone, even in the most challenging seasons of life....
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Finding Joy in the Darkness
I would like to take a moment of personal privilege to say Happy Birthday to all December birthday babies! Being a December birthday gal myself, I recognize that there is something beautifully poetic in celebrating a birthday during this time of year. As a child, this balance of beauty did not come easily for me to recognize, because you see not only do December Birthday’s compete for...
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Ablation of the Soul: Creating Peace
Before worship began this morning, I found myself looking around the sanctuary and thinking, “There is just something about this time of year…” Maybe it’s the decorations – the Chrismon’s on the trees, the Advent Wreath, the nativity placed front and center, or the alter which seems to have been freshly poshed in a manner that is preparing for a special guest to arrive. Perhaps it’s the music...
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The Gift of Giving
#GivingTuesday Reflection
The season of Advent is here—a time when we light the first candle of the Advent wreath and lean into the promise of hope. This week, we are invited to reflect on the profound intersection of hope and generosity, especially as we participate in the upcoming celebration of #GivingTuesday.
Advent teaches us that hope is not passive. It is an active force, born...
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Keeping True to Self: Being Intentional During the Holiday Season
So often during the holiday season, I find myself so lost in the call to be with others and to fill their cup, that I forget to find space and time to fill mine. The holiday season is a time filled with joy, traditions, and celebrations—but it can also bring an overwhelming sense of busyness, financial strain, and pressure to meet expectations. Amid the whirlwind of events, gift-giving, and...
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Do you have 8 Minutes to Spare?
Recently, a friend shared a YouTube video featuring leadership speaker and author, Simon Sinek. The topic was about being present and aware in your relationships with others, and he focused on the concept of Eight Minutes.
The concept is simple: Eight Minutes may not seem like a lot of time, but based on research, it’s long enough to give someone your full attention, to listen with an open...
Learn MoreOuvrons grand les Jeux: Games Wide Open!
Once every four-years, something a bit whimsical and nostalgic happens, and unless you are freeof all media and are perhaps living under a proverbial rock, you know I am referring to theSummer Olympics! Since 1984 when the games were held in the City of Angels and proudlytouted its mascot, Sam the Olympic Eagle, I have been a dedicated consumer of the Olympicgames. Like many, I have my...
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Shame: The Swampland of the Soul
I am a big fan of taking a night and going to the movies. I love the entire process of purchasing the perfectseat, overpriced movie popcorn, a real coke, and candy. I fully enjoy the corny previews and sincereattempts by the theater to ensure everyone turns off their cell phones and cut down on chatter. Best of all,the experience of the movie theater brings a bit of separation and suspension...
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Thin Spaces
In the fall of 2019, I had the privilege of participating in a retreat for mental health and spiritualcare providers focused on the theme of Thin Spaces. I was familiar with the concept of ThinIn the fall of 2019, I had the privilege of participating in a retreat for mental health and spiritualcare providers focused on the theme of Thin Spaces. I was familiar with the concept of...
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It Is What It Is
I am excited to announce that last week, I was on a real vacation! What I mean by a realvacation is this – this particular trip had nothing to do with my profession nor was ittacked on to a work-related trip, I did not take work-related projects to complete rather asilly romance novel I found for $5.00 at the local bookstore, and best of all I had zeroaccess to the internet. There was...
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Americana
Growing up, my extended family would gather in a New Mexico ski resort town every year forthe 4 th of July holiday. This sleepy mountain town where we gathered for our annual familyreunion existed purely on tourism and during the winter months, this was a busy village filledwith skiers and snowboarders alike. To the villages credit, they had managed to provide asmattering of summer activities...
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Lessons From Landscapes
A month or so ago, my spring travels found me in Pittsburgh, PA. I was attending the Festival ofHomiletics as both an attendee and a host of a Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy booth. I haveattended this event for several years and I have developed a fondness for this gathering for manyreasons: 1) For the ecumenical gathering aspect and 2) For the physical annual shift in locationthat...
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Living Into the Golden Rule
When my daughter was in 3 rd -5 th grades, she participated in our local Junior Derby League on ateam called the Marionettes. Just image a group of young girls ages 8-12 expressing themselvesin colorful dress and makeup, and playing a full-contact roller-skating sport. Everything aboutthis was fun for me. I enjoyed watching the practices and bouts, listening to the 80s and 90smusic blasting...
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Passing The Torch
This is my absolute favorite photo of my ordination. The photo itself is from the local townnewspaper where I was ordained. The photo is a little grainy and the details are difficult to makeout, which is one of the many reasons this is the photo I have framed in my office.When I look at this photo, I am reminded of not only the day I was ordained, but I am remindedof the somewhat grainy and...
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The Litmus Test
I remember the morning well…It was mid-February and to say I had a lot going on in my life both personally and professionallywould be the understatement of the year. I was feeling both exhilarated and emotionallyexhausted. I was not eating or sleeping well, and I was feeling as if my emotional state waschanging by the minute, if not by the second. Some significant shifts were about to...
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In Memory
I was once told that memories sit in a variety of ways – some sit softy, some violently, and somein a much more neutral way. In the 24-years since graduating with my MA in Counseling andreceiving my first licensure, I have had the privilege of sharing space with people who areworking through complex times, and I have come to fully appreciate this sentiment regardingmemories.Over the weekend,...
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The Gift of Exploration
My first trip abroad took place in 1997. I was in my fourth year at the University of New Mexicoand my dear friend Alison was studying Psychology at Oxford University outside of London.She invited me to visit her in-between semesters. It was on this trip that I discovered that I do notmind long plane rides, the hustle and bustle of unfamiliar places, observing people as youmomentarily become...
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Tis the Season to Celebrate
It was May 19 th , 2020 when I found myself putting on my robe with my newly earned stripes(three on each sleeve to be exact), my father’s Ph.D. graduation hood (an homage to my latefather’s profound respect for education), and my tam (something I had been waiting to wear for avery long time!). My Zoom-inspired Doctor of Ministry graduation from Claremont School ofTheology would soon begin...
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Its Mental Health Awareness Month–Now What?
Navigating Clergy Mental Health: Insights for Mental Health Awareness MonthAs we delve into Mental Health Awareness Month this May, it’s imperative to shine a light onthe often-overlooked aspect of clergy mental health. Beyond the serene facade, we as clergymembers often grapple with a myriad of mental health challenges, ranging from anxiety anddepression to struggles with personal...
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How We Gather
For the past week, I have found myself serving the United Methodist Church’s GeneralConference as a Page. A Page, in this setting, is akin to a legislative runner as the work primarilytakes place up close and personal on the floor of each conference session, ensuring the votingdelegates have what they need, and that information flows with little disruption to those whoneed it for the work of...
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How Does Your Garden Grow
In my romanticized version of spring, I take myself as an urban gardener – not farmer, but agardener. And I say romanticized as it is the warming of the days and in the cooling temperaturesof the evenings that I find myself inspired and joyfully shopping for flowers and plants at thenursery next to my home as I imagine what my urban garden will be in just a few days’ time.The problem...
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Free Moon Pies!
Last Monday, I had the opportunity to view the eclipse in Dallas, TX with a group of clergyleaders from various parts of the southern region of the United States. The event was met withgreat optimism despite the cloud coverage was predicted to be great, with little chance of a clearview of this celestial event. As is the case with so many unpredictable and uncertaincircumstances, the cloud...
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A Note of Retreat
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, particularly in professions demanding emotional andspiritual care like clergy, it’s easy to overlook the critical need for retreat. Yet, statistics on clergyburnout and saturation serve as a stark reminder of the urgency to prioritize self-care and renewalpractices within our spiritual communities.According to a study by the Schaffer Institute,...
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Tell Me a Story
Dear Chrysalis Friends,As we find ourselves winding down from the hustle and bustle of our most sacredseasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of finding rest andsolace, even in the busiest of times. It’s during these periods, filled with variousobligations and commitments, that we often forget to pause, breathe, and seek therejuvenation that rest offers.In the...
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Ultimate? Penultimate? Antepenultimate?
I remember in my Greek class in seminary a discussion of terms related to what we might call “the end.” Of course the term we used to describe the final conclusion of something was “ultimate.” What came just prior to the ultimate was “penultimate.” And what was just before that which was just before the ultimate was the...
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Chrysalis – The Humble Beginnings
In January 2020, I defended my dissertation for my Doctorate in Ministry with Claremont School of Theology focusing on sustainable clergy rest and renewal practices. Shortly after my return from defending what felt like a life-long piece of art, a colleague said to me, “Good for you, now you can hang your diploma on your wall and put your dissertation in your bookshelf so both can collect...
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Feeling The Darkness – Finding The Light In Ministry
I was recently asked about my thoughts on the phrases:
“Hurt people, Hurt people” and “Silent people kill churches.”
It took me a bit to ponder these thoughts for myself, as I have so often used these phrases as a therapeutic tool in the sacred space found in my therapy room. I don’t know how these two phrases have, or have not, played a role in your lives but I would like you to...
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Re-Ordering the Photo Frame
As I was walking down the photo frame aisle trying to pick the perfect frame in which to highlight my daughter’s recent drill team competition photo, I found myself longing for my family to be in one of the frames: a photo frame family! You know the photo frame family I am talking about – it’s the photo that actually comes with the frame you purchase of the perfectly positioned family where...
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Discernment by Nausea in a Season of Remembrance
I recently heard the phrase, Discernment By Nausea and I was immediately drawn to it. Perhaps it is because of the season of Lent that we are entering into or perhaps it is because of the season I have personally found myself in and perhaps it is a little bit of both!
The thought behind this phrase is that we often play it safe when it comes to our...
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Movement & Vision
As 2023 comes to a close and 2024 peaks it’s head around the corner, we find ourselves in a place of reflection, remembrance, and resolution. We reflect on all that the year have gifted to us and we remember all the lessons learned. The phase of resolution can be a bit more complicated as it takes into account the phases of reflection and remembrance and attempts to make ‘All things different...
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An Advent of Change
Henri Nouwen once wrote, “…to pray is to change” and then he asked, “Why would you want todo that?” Nouwen named what we all know: change is hard. Even when we are instigatingchange in our own lives, under our own direction, change is difficult and complicated. I wonderif we might consider this same axiom and question about change in our Advent journey. Inother words, to enter Advent is to...
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How Much Light?
The Christmas tree glows in the corner complete with a tree topper star that projectssnowflakes onto the ceiling. Meanwhile the electric wreath hangs in the window shining its LEDblessing onto the outside world. Another Christmas tree, the small plastic one with the built-inlights, sits in another room of the house serving as a kind of seasonal night light. Lighteverywhere! Come, Lord Jesus....
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year…Maybe
The Christmas season has always been a mixed bag for me. Even as a young child and the child of a female pastor in the 1980’s, I felt both the joy and struggle of the season. I believe it was as if the pressures of the holidays and the hustle and bustle were simply too much for my little body to take in. I vaguely remember many Christmas Ev’s feeling as if the Church took precedence over...
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Gauges
If I’m honest I really only look at two gauges on the dashboard of my truck. I watch myspeedometer and I check my gas gauge. I know that there are other gauges in my informationcluster: tachometer, battery charge, oil temperature, and maintenance. But the truth is that Ionly notice this information when something goes wrong or when it beeps or flashes. Most ofthe time I just trust that...
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Faith and Ministry
One of the issues that can exist for pastors is the blurring of the delicate line between faith in God and loyalty to the church. We hear the story often at Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy. A person experiences the grace of God in a profound way, they have a sense of calling to serve God, and they find a way to live out that calling in the church. In one sense this is the...
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When the Bottom Drops Out
At Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy we acknowledge how difficult ministry can be. The demands placed upon pastors and ministry leaders today are complex and varied in ways heretofore not experienced. Not only is the sheer practice of ministry more and more complicated, but the effects of this stressful environment on the overall health of ministry leaders are profound as...
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Freedom
July 4, 2023
Happy Independence Day! Perhaps no word resonates with the American democratic experiment than freedom. Our history books and national mythology teach us that freedom was the driving force of what became the United States of America. And yet, we know that despite the promises of the Declaration of Independence not everyone is treated equally even if they are...
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Transitions & a Cup of Coffee
I am a big fan of coffee – church coffee, boutique coffee, Starbucks. It does not completely matter to me if my coffee originates from an espresso maker crafted ever so carefully with beautiful artwork showing through the foam from the local coffee shop, or straight from the verismo tucked in the corner of my office. I just enjoy my coffee.
I am also a fan of sharing sacred conversations...
Learn MoreTrust the Story
Moving through the Lenten season draws us near to Easter and the story of the resurrection. On one level, this is joyful and exciting. On another level, especially for pastors, the nearing of Easter can bring pressure and anxiety. Holy Week is often filled with extra services. Easter Sunday can come with a higher level of expectation. What can we do in this midst...
Learn MoreTransitions & a Cup of Coffee
I am a big fan of coffee – church coffee, boutique coffee, Starbucks. It does not completely matter to me if my coffee originates from an espresso maker crafted ever so carefully with beautiful artwork showing through the foam from the local coffee shop, or straight from the verismo tucked in the corner of my office. I just enjoy my coffee.
I am also a fan of sharing sacred conversations with those dearest and most important to me over something as simple or complex as a cup of coffee. Conversations that are light and fun that share in celebrations and excitement, and conversations that sit on the soul in a different way. It’s the conversations of life, and laughter, tears, frustrations, broken relationships, and reconciliation. I enjoy a full life of connection.
I find myself this season seeped in sacred conversations embodied by the topic of transitions. These sacred conversations are conversations I find myself having with others as well as with myself. Transitions that include relationship shifts, employment discernment, and faith community affiliations. And yes, these conversations often happen over a simple, yet complex cup of coffee which for me, serves as a reminder of that which is a constant in my life – a grounding if you will to what is present, now.
I encourage each of you to find your grounding – in the midst of simple and complicated and complex conversations which is what makes life so very rich. Seek out those whom you love and care for dearly, and share in this grounding wherever those moments take you.
Grace & Peace,
The Chrysalis Team
