MayCember: Please Take a Rest!
Somewhere along the way, May stopped being a gentle bridge into summer. Now it seems that calendars overflow, deadlines multiply, and celebrations stack—graduations, end of school banquets, recitals, and a multitude of transitions! The pace accelerates just as our bodies begin to crave exhale. In case you were not aware, the cultural term for this season is referred to as MayCember...
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Called to Care: Reflections on Mother’s Day
At its core, Mother’s Day invites us to pause and reflect on the sacred nature of care. For many, it is a day filled with gratitude, celebration, and cherished memories. For others, this day may carry grief, longing, or complicated emotions. Yet at the heart of this day is something deeper than cards or flowers – it is the quiet, faithful calling to love one another well.
One of the most...
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Cognitive Dissonance and Personal Disconnection
There are moments when something feels off within us, even if we can’t immediately name it. We move through our days, fulfilling responsibilities, showing up for others, checking the necessary boxes – yet internally, there is a quiet unrest. This experience is often rooted in cognitive dissonance which is the tension that arises when our beliefs, values, and behaviors are misaligned....
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Lessons in Cinema: The Gift of Rest, the Rise of AI, and the Foundation of Belief
I love going to the movies—and I’ll admit, I don’t indulge in this simple joy nearly enough. There is something sacred about sitting in a movie theater, popcorn in hand, perhaps a soda within reach, and allowing myself to simply rest. Not scroll. Not multitask. Not produce. Just be. For a couple of hours, I am invited into a different world, one that asks nothing of me except...
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The Anxious Presence and the Gift of Peace and Being Called by Name
Over the past week, I was given the gift of retreat—time set apart with clergy who deeply value rest and renewal, learning in community, and shared fellowship. In that space, I was reminded of the simple and the profound: the gift of stillness, the presence of peace, and the sacredness of being called by name.
There is often an anxious presence in the rooms in which we find ourselves...
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Palm Sunday: The Truth We Don’t Want to Hold
The past few years have disrupted our sense of self and what it means to live in community in ways I don’t think we’ve fully been able to name. There have been moments when days blurred together—What day is it? How long have we been doing this? Memories, moments and news cycles have felt like forever, and yet somehow also fleeting.
And then comes Holy Week. Palm Sunday, in particular,...
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Playing Pretend: Reframing the Everyday in these dry bones
There are days when life feels like a quiet performance. We show up, say the right things, move through the motions—smiling when expected, producing when necessary, holding it together just enough to be perceived as fine. It can feel like playing pretend in the most ordinary, exhausting ways.
There have admittedly been days (perhaps even years) in the past when I have played pretend....
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Living in the Light in a Complicated Season
There are seasons in history that simply feel simpler in hindsight. And then there are inherited seasons – layered with uncertainty, tension, grief, and competing truths about how the world seems to be. Many of us did not choose the conditions of this moment, yet we find ourselves feeling the weight and responsibility for how we will live within it.
Into this kind of complicated...
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Reflections on Purim Through a Lenten Lens
Lent is a season of stripping away—of illusion, certainty, and self-protection. It is a time when Christians sit honestly with vulnerability, mortality, and the long road toward the cross. And yet, in the midst of this solemn season, this week our Jewish neighbors celebrate Purim—a festival marked by costumes, laughter, noisemakers, and joy.
At first glance, Purim and Lent seem worlds...
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FindiFinding Ourselves in the Wildernessng Ourselves in the Wilderness
Reflections on Matthew 4:1–11
Lent begins, not with certainty, but with wilderness.
Before Jesus teaches, heals, or gathers disciples, Matthew tells us that he is “led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted.” This detail matters. The wilderness is not an accident or a punishment. It is not a detour from God’s purposes. It is the place the Spirit leads him.
Which raises an...
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At the Well: Resisting the Culture of Othering
A Lenten Reflection on John 4:5–42
This week’s Lenten Gospel lesson found in John 4:5–42 in a stark reminder that scripture continues to speak to us in these modern times. Jesus, weary from travel, sits beside a well in Samaria and asks a Samaritan woman for a drink of water. It is a brief interaction, but it breaks through several deeply entrenched cultural barriers....
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Ash Wednesday: The Courage to Look Within
Today’s reflection arrives at a meaningful threshold. Today marks the 100th Chrysalis Constant Contact posting—a quiet milestone that mirrors the spirit of the upcoming Advent season itself. One hundred offerings of reflection, invitation, and presence. Not to impress. Not to accumulate. But to create space—again and again—for honesty, healing, and holy reflection. Like Lent, Chrysalis has...
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Life Is Not Always What We Planned…
Life is not always what we plan – this is a mantra and life wisdom which has proven to be true in my life again and again! In fact, more often than not, the carefully drawn maps we create for our lives are disrupted—by detours we didn’t anticipate, losses we didn’t choose, or invitations we never imagined accepting. From an early age, many of us are taught to equate success with control: set...
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When Plans Change
Most of us are planners—whether we admit it or not. We sketch out timelines, set intentions, imagine how the story will unfold. Even when we hold those plans lightly, they give us a sense of direction, control, and hope. Plans tell us who we think we are and where we believe we are headed.
And then… plans change.
Sometimes the shift is dramatic and sudden—a diagnosis, a loss, a call we...
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Finding Our Collective Voice
In recent weeks and months, the steady stream of headlines has felt relentless and left us breathless. Communities fractured by violence, policies that disproportionately harm the most vulnerable, and the quiet and systematic erosion of dignity that seems to have embedded itself in our day-to-day. For many of us, the weight of it all is suffocating. We feel the pull to stay informed and the...
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The Value–Action Gap
This past week, I had the privilege of spending time with a group of clergy from across the United States—TX, AZ, CA, NY, FL, NM, KS, MI, WI, OK, and MT. During our time together, we talked about alignment: the alignment of who we are, where we come from, the stories that shape us, and how we move toward a fuller, more integrated sense of self. We talked about value—how values guide us best...
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Keeping the Soul Ajar
There is a difference between leaving the metaphoric door wide open and keeping it ajar. An open door can feel exposed, vulnerable to every passing force. A closed door can provide a feeling of safety, but is sealed tight. Keeping the soul ajar, however, is an act of quiet courage—a deliberate choice to remain receptive without becoming overwhelmed.
Life has a way of teaching us to shut...
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Life Is Not Always What We Planned…
Life is not always what we plan – this is a mantra and life wisdom which has proven to be true in my life again and again! In fact, more often than not, the carefully drawn maps we create for our lives are disrupted—by detours we didn’t anticipate, losses we didn’t choose, or invitations we never imagined accepting. From an early age, many of us are taught to equate success with control: set...
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It’s a Wrap! – 2025 Year in Review
As 2025 comes to a close, we pause to reflect with deep gratitude on a year shaped by rest, renewal, and faithful presence. At Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy, our work is rooted in a simple but vital truth: those who care for others also deserve care. This year, that commitment continued to take shape in meaningful and measurable ways.
Rest & Renewal Retreats remained a...
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’Tis the Season!
Lessons in Gratitude for a New Year
’Tis the season—of lists and lights, endings and beginnings. A season when the calendar tells us one thing is ending and another is about to begin, even if our hearts are still catching up.
Gratitude often shows up this time of year as something we are supposed to feel. We are encouraged to name blessings, count joys, and move quickly toward...
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Advent 4
For the next several weeks, we welcome guest writers from the Chrysalis Board of Directors as they share their thoughts and perspectives from the Gospel writers during this Season of Advent. Enjoy!
There is a moment in every life of faith when circumstances cause words to rise from deep within the soul — not in the form of doctrine or duty, but from the heart as a song. For Mary, like many...
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Advent 3: Patience…
For the next several weeks, we welcome guest writers from the Chrysalis Board of Directors as they share their thoughts and perspectives from the Gospel writers during this Season of Advent. Enjoy!
Patience is not my spiritual gift.
Patiently waiting is my least favorite oxymoron. The absurdity of ‘patiently’ waiting is not lost on my heart. Waiting for the baby to be born. Waiting for...
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Advent Devotional
I love the season of Advent in the church.
The sanctuary draped in deep purple (or blue) paraments. Fresh greenery threaded
across the altar and windowsills—cedar, pine, maybe a sprig of holly tucked where only
the children notice. The smell of warm bread drifting from the kitchen, rising and filling
the hallways with the promise of communion. The Advent wreath glowing with just...
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Season of Advent: Week One — Hope, Waiting, and Finding Ourselves
The Season of Advent marks the beginning of the Christian year—a four-week journey that leads us to Christmas. The word Advent comes from the Latin adventus, meaning coming or arrival. It is a season that holds two truths at once – We remember Christ’s first coming into the world and we anticipate Christ’s continued coming into our lives. Advent invites us into a sacred kind of...
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Taking a Collective Breath in a Season of Thanksgiving
As we enter the season of Thanksgiving, many of us feel a familiar mixture of anticipation and saturation. This time of year, brings a flurry of gatherings, travel, planning, emotions, and expectations. It can be a life giving season —and it can be a complete drain on the spirit. Somewhere between preparing the meal, navigating family dynamics, and keeping up with work and life, we can lose...
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Saturation Point
There comes a moment—sometimes quietly, sometimes all at once—when we realize we’ve reached our saturation point. It’s that internal threshold where the weight we’ve been carrying begins to spill over the edges of our capacity. We feel it in our bodies before we can often name it – exhaustion that doesn’t lift after sleep, irritability over minor things, an ache behind the eyes, or the...
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The Danger in Filling in the Gaps
As humans, we are wired to be meaning-making creatures. When we encounter something we don’t understand—a silence, a delay, an unanswered text, an ambiguous look—we instinctively fill in the gaps. Our minds rush to complete the story, to make sense of what’s missing. It’s a survival mechanism, meant to keep us safe. The problem is, most of the time, the story we create simply isn’t true....
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The Significance of Remembrance and Ritual: Halloween, Día de los Muertos, and All Saints Sunday
I have a handful of bucket list items that I slowly plan and experience as the years move forward. One anticipated experience that has reminded constant and at the top of my list, is a trip to Mexico City for the annual Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) celebration. I want to be in the city among the marigolds and candles, to celebrate and remember, to build a collective ofrenda (alter),...
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“Grief is Love With No Place to Go”
In the changing of the seasons from summer to fall and from fall to winter, I am intimately reminded of the seasons and changes we experience in life. This includes the change and loss of relationships, often ushering us into a season which we call grief.
And what is grief, really?
Grief is often described as a storm, a wave, a shadow that lingers long after loss. Yet, beneath every...
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Shoshin: You Cannot Do a New Thing While Constantly Defending the Old Thing
I recently learned of a Zen Buddhism concept known as shoshin: the beginner’s mind. It is the state of openness, curiosity, and receptivity that comes when we approach something as though for the very first time. In the teaching of a beginner’s mind, there is freedom from assumption, pride, and the need to prove what we already know. “In the beginner’s mind,” wrote Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki,...
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“I Like Boring Things”
Artist and creator Andy Warhol once famously said, “I like boring things.” At first glance, this may sound odd coming from one of the most iconic, eccentric, and creative figures of the 20th century. Warhol, with his soup cans, celebrity portraits, and avant-garde films, hardly appears to be someone enthralled with the ordinary. Yet this statement carries a truth worth pausing over:...
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My Soul Needs a Rest
There are seasons when our calendars, commitments, news cycles, and head space run ahead of us, leaving our bodies weary and our spirits stretched thin. We keep moving, often on autopilot, convincing ourselves that if we just push a little harder, everything will fall into place. But then there comes a whisper from within—a gentle but insistent voice: my soul needs a rest.
Rest is...
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Finding Center in a New Season
The change of seasons rarely arrives quietly. It sweeps in with a flurry of uncertainty and excitement—new roles, shifting relationships, unexpected transitions—and can leave us feeling untethered. Whether it’s a seasonal change or a change that we have chosen, or a change that has chosen us, the experience can feel both like the opening of a gift or like standing in the middle of a storm....
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The Quiet Art of Witnessing When the World Seems So Loud
There are days when the noise of the world feels relentless—news cycles that churn, notifications that buzz, a culture that rewards the loudest voices and the quickest takes. When everything clamors for our reaction, the quiet art of witnessing can feel almost radical. To witness is to stay present without rushing to fix, to listen without interrupting, to see without turning away. It is an...
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Beloved
“And did you get what you wanted from this life?”I did.And what did you want?To call myself beloved, to feel myself Beloved on the Earth.”– Raymond Carver
There are certain words that stop us in our tracks, catching in the chest and lingering like an echo. For me, Carver’s lines have always been among them. They are simple words, almost understated. Yet within them lies the deepest human...
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988 Day: “You Are Not Alone”
As a mental health professional and one who believes deeply in services for all, ‘988 Day’ is not just a day but a day I feel is important to be noted. So, for this week’s Chrysalis message, I am focusing on the importance and significance of 988.
On July 16, 2022, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline launched as an easily remembered, nationwide number for anyone experiencing a mental...
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Letting Go: The Spirit and Ritual of Zozobra
Every September, approximately 65,000 people gather in Santa Fe to watch Old Man Gloom go up in flames. Zozobra—a 50-foot marionette, built from wood, wire, and cloth—is stuffed with shredded paper bearing the written worries, sorrows, and disappointments of the past year. When the torch is set and the fire takes hold, Old Man Gloom roars and groans, and collapses into ash, symbolizing the...
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Presence Over Perfection
For years, I worked diligently to be perfect – the perfect employee; the perfect pastor; the perfect therapist; the perfect partner; the perfect parent; the perfect friend. What I discovered is perfection has a way of creeping into our lives disguised as ambition, responsibility, or care. I so deeply wanted to be the best parent; the strongest and most steadfast leader; the most faithful and...
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Waymarking and the Art of Waymaking
Long before GPS and step-counting apps, travelers relied on waymarks to guide them along unknown roads —simple stones, painted arrows, or carved symbols marked their path. On Spain’s Camino de Santiago, the scallop shell and yellow arrow appear again and again, marking the path for pilgrims from all over the world. They do more than direct—they reassure: Yes, you are still on the way....
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My Summer Tech Detox: Lessons Learned
This summer, I did a thing.
I unplugged.
Not entirely, and not forever—but enough to feel it. Enough to notice how entangled I had become in constant notifications, scrolling habits, and the ever-present hum of a device in hand. I needed a break, and my soul knew it before I did. So, I declared a summer tech detox—Removal of social media apps from my phone; Minimal email; and...
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Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Space for Both, but Not Always
I have recently been giving a great deal of thought and consideration to the application and understanding of Forgiveness and Reconciliation. I believe that we, as a society, often speak of these two distinct ideals in the same breath, as if they are two sides of the same coin. While they are certainly related, they are not identical. Forgiveness can be an internal act of release—a decision...
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Collective Effervescence and the Need for Community
There’s a sacred energy that fills the air when we gather—when voices rise in song, when laughter echoes at shared tables, when silent nods affirm our shared grief. This energy has a name: collective effervescence. Coined by sociologist Émile Durkheim, it describes the powerful, almost electric sense of connection that arises when people come together for a shared purpose, emotion, or...
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Joy Comes in the Morning…not happiness
For many years, I used the descriptors of Happiness and Joy interchangeably, as if each held the same weight as the other. But, there is a sacred difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is situational—fleeting and often tied to external circumstances. It’s the smile that comes with good news, the laugh shared over dinner, or the satisfaction of checking everything off the to-do list....
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The Secular and the Sacred
During the benediction on my last Sunday in pulpit ministry, I said to the congregation that there’s a good chance that one day, we will run into one another at a local coffee shop. And when we do, let’s greet each other with kind words and soft smiles. I deeply believe that moments shared over a cup of coffee and smiles exchanged across a room are sacred—holy encounters in everyday...
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Living a Faithful and Patriotic Life
As I sat watching fireworks from the safety of my home on July 4th, reflecting on the week’s headlines, I found myself thinking about how I express both gratitude and frustration for the country I call home. Living in the United States allows me to hold both of these truths at once – It can be uncomfortable, even unsettling, but it is also honest. It is the space I currently inhabit....
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Leaving Church, Entering the Wilderness
For your reading pleasure this week, we have invited Mary Ward to share one of her writings from her new blog, The Progressive Pulpit. I found this particular writing of upmost importance and very timely. I hope her words resonate with you and I invite you to read more writings from The Progressive Pulpit.
Blessings to you on this journey,
Rev. Dr. Kelly Jackson Brooks, LPCC, CEAP...
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What Keeps You Up at Night?
I know when my mind is running at full-steam ahead and I find myself having to carry a small notebook with me, not to mention having to keep that same small notebook on my bedstand as I sleep and on my sink counter while I get ready in the morning. It’s a notebook that contains all my aspirations for Chrysalis, my future self, my parenting goals, and my vacation and travel plans. It’s my Book...
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Where Does It Hurt?
We’ve all heard the phrase: “Hurt people hurt people.” It’s often spoken with a sigh, an attempt to make sense of someone else’s sharp words, distant demeanor, or destructive behavior. It reminds us that pain doesn’t stay neatly packed inside—it leaks out, spills over, and sometimes lashes out. But too often, we stop there, diagnosing the symptom without asking the deeper...
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Settling for Resurrection and Forgetting to Ascend
Our image this week is my favorite piece of resurrection stained glass. This piece can be found at The Episcopal Cathedral Church of St. John in Albuquerque, NM off of the main sanctuary. What I find most striking is Jesus is not represented in the glass art – Jesus is gone!
We teach that we are a resurrection people. We proclaim this truth with confidence on Easter morning, with lilies in...
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The Butterfly Effect: Celebrating 5 Years of Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy!
This week, Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy 501(c)3 turns five. What began as a DMIN dissertation dream, has grown into a movement of hope and healing. This ministry was born out of transformation – And like the butterfly effect itself, small acts of care and compassion have rippled outward in powerful and unexpected ways.
The title of this reflection, The Butterfly Effect, is a...
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The Fire That Connects
Every October, the skies over Albuquerque, New Mexico, come alive with color as hundreds of hot air balloons from across the country rise for the annual International Balloon Fiesta. Each evening, those same balloons line up for a luminous spectacle called the Glow. As darkness falls, massive orbs inflate, light up, and ignite—fire roaring into their bellies. The crowds cheer, laugh, and...
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Tell Me about your North Star
We all have something—or someone—that helps us navigate the chaos. A voice we return to when the noise is too loud. A truth that grounds us. A presence that brings clarity when everything else feels like fog.
In the ancient world, sailors didn’t have GPS or satellite maps. They had stars—especially one – The North Star. It didn’t move like the others. It remained constant, a fixed...
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Mother’s Day: A Day of Remembrance
Later today – if all goes well – I will emerge from my weekly Sunday nap and remember to call my mother, and I will remember to call my brother to remind him to call our mother, and I will remember to tell my daughter to call both of her grandmothers because today is Mother’s Day!
Every second Sunday in May, florists rejoice, restaurants fill up, and social media timelines overflow...
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Emotional Imprints: Celebrating Life and Saying Goodbye
The image you see is of myself and a magical man taken just a few years ago. This is Jim and he is my dearest friend’s father who passed away just a few short months ago. Something I know of Jim – He cared in the way he knew how for his friends and family. I know Jim had his faults – as we all do – but I knew him as a man of wit and wisdom who was always gracious to me and present in our...
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All Things Borrowed…
It was recently pointed out to me, that all things having to do with Jesus and his entry into the city on that blessed day that we now celebrate as Palm Sunday, were borrowed – nothing personally owned or ceremoniously presented to Jesus, simply borrowed. I have given this simple fact pause over the past few days as we enter communally into this sacred time.
As we all know, Palm...
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Friendships and the Sunrise: Light for Today’s World
On Easter morning, I had the great pleasure of standing and serving communion with a dear friend and colleague. You see, my friend invited me to assist her during the Easter Sunrise Service at the church she serves and I attend with my daughter. Any yes, there were tears of joy to be invited and to share in this Holy Sighting – What a perfect way to start the Easter celebration!...
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Asking the Right Question: What is The Why?
In a world that moves faster every day, we are constantly bombarded with decisions, distractions, and demands. It’s easy to fall into the trap of reacting rather than reflecting. We ask, What should I do next? How do I get this done faster? Who needs to be involved?—all valid questions. But sometimes, they aren’t the right questions.
The most transformative...
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May: A Month of Expectations, Hope, and Celebrations!
There’s something about May that stirs my soul – In my home, we celebrate May Day, my daughter’s birthday (16th this year!), my mother’s birthday (she would not appreciate it if I shared this specific detail!), and Mother’s Day! This is a season that the world around each of us seems to exhale—so many celebrations, trees stretching into fullness, flowers opening with purpose, sunlight...
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To Celebrate or to Sit?
Have you ever been privy to a conversation or message where you can literally only remember one phrase or comment shared? I had that moment today as I sat passively during worship and the comment and question posed was this: “Do you celebrate restoration in the here and now or do you sit in resentment in the past?”
I have always taken myself to be a forward-thinking person, but I admit, I...
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How Does Your Garden Grow: The Tale of the Fig Tree
There is something magical about this time of year. It’s the time where you see and hear your neighbors in their yards cleaning out debris left from the fall, and preparing for what flowers and foliage is peeking up and planned. The temperatures are rising, but it’s not yet unbearable to spend several hours deep in the soil or laying fresh mulch. I love the sounds of the birds and the many...
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Lamentation: What Do You Lament?
I am a big fan of stained glass – specifically stained glass that is used to enhance worship spaces in cathedrals and sanctuaries across the globe. The craftsmanship, the detail, and the various styles which depict the various narratives and notions of the Christian faith are captivating to me. I particularly appreciate unique stained glass that tells a story, but only if you are paying...
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Living in the Wilderness: A Desert of Life or a Desert of Despair
The climate where I live in Albuquerque New Mexico is referred to as High Desert Climate. The high desert climate is characterized by dry and warm summers, cold winters, and low rainfall. The topography is such that the Sandia Mountain range – which at its highest point measuring 10,678 feet – circles fast parts of the city with vistas reaching into what feels like uncharted...
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Seasons: Ashes and Lent
It’s that time of year in the rhythm and ritual of the Christian Calander– 40-days; not counting Sunday’s – in which we prepare our hearts and minds for a season of introspection and remembrance. The time when we feast on King’s Cake and pancakes, plan for fish on Friday’s, and mark our days with considerations of giving up and taking up. I personally look forward to the celebrations...
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The Importance of Marking Time: Grief, Anniversaries, and Ritual
One year ago, in accordance and affirmed by the United Methodist Church Book of Discipline, I began a 4-month Renewal Leave where I continued to represent my appointment in various annual conference, jurisdictional, and general church matters – but, I was no longer 24/7 with the local church. Effective July 1st, 2024 I began my full-time Extension Ministry appointment to Chrysalis Counseling...
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Lessons from the Beatitudes
This morning in church, the pastor spoke about the beauty and relevance in today’s world of the Beatitudes – which reminded me of a conversation I had a year or so ago with a colleague about the push to post the 10 Commandments in parts of the country in the public schools. Our conversation had turned to the question: “What if we as a society focused on the beatitudes and not so much...
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Performative Activism and the Faith Community: Whose Voice Are You Giving a Voice To?
This week, I was confronted by a dear friend with the term Performative Activism. This friend of mine – who does not claim Christianity but lives a more Christian life than many self-proclaiming Christians I know – contacted me to discuss what she has been witnessing as perceived Performative Activism demonstrated by countless activism walks and other signs of collective protest. To my...
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The Sacred Power of Creative Resistance
For many reasons, this past week has been a painfully challenging week for me. In seeking consult and comfort throughout the various tosses and turns of the week, I have been reminded of the privilege and importance of both my voice, the collective voice, and the significant power and privilege of creative resistance. Throughout history, voice and creativity has been a force of defiance,...
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Collectivist vs. Individualist: Respecting One Another
I see myself as a curious observer to the human experience. I have always found a great deal of satisfaction simply sitting and watching as others engage in life experiences. An observation which always holds truth, is that we as humans tend towards being collectivist or individualist – although we can play in both spaces, we are more comfortable in one over the other. These two frameworks...
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The Art of Balance: Functioning Vs. Performing
Last week, I was sitting in my therapy room with a client who spoke candidly about their habit of over-functioning and their understood lack of performing. I was reminded that in today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to blur the line between functioning and performing – and I have often fallen into the whole of functioning while convincing myself I was performing. While these concepts are often...
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The Holiness of No – A Practice in Self-Care
I was reminded this past week of a time I never said No – No to attending a meeting, No to attending a conference, No to rearranging my schedule and my own needs to fit the needs of another. This inability to say No had an great impact on me, and not the way I desired – It changed the way others invited me in; It altered the way I operated in my day-t0-day life; It had a profound effect on my...
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It’s a Wrap! Year-End Review
As we close out another impactful year, it’s incredible to see how far Chrysalis has come since its inception in 2019. What started as a vision during my Doctor of Ministry (DMIN) project has grown into a thriving ministry that continues to make a difference in the lives of clergy across the United States.
Rolling Numbers Update
Since the first retreat in April 2019, Chrysalis has...
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What’s My Vision?
For the past three years, just as the year is ending a new year is on the horizon, my daughter and I have made a trip to the local craft store where we purchase a generous amount of miscellaneous supplies including stickers, markers, poster board, and decorative paper. Before returning to the house, we pick-up Starbucks and some snacks as we prepare to set the stage appropriately for our...
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Emmanuel: “God With Us”
The Fourth Sunday of Advent is a time of profound reflection and anticipation. As we light the fourth candle, our hearts turn to Mary and Elizabeth—two women bound by shared experiences, mutual encouragement, and a deep awareness of God’s presence. Their story, found in Luke 1:39-56, reminds us of the importance of knowing we are not alone, even in the most challenging seasons of life....
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Finding Joy in the Darkness
I would like to take a moment of personal privilege to say Happy Birthday to all December birthday babies! Being a December birthday gal myself, I recognize that there is something beautifully poetic in celebrating a birthday during this time of year. As a child, this balance of beauty did not come easily for me to recognize, because you see not only do December Birthday’s compete for...
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Ablation of the Soul: Creating Peace
Before worship began this morning, I found myself looking around the sanctuary and thinking, “There is just something about this time of year…” Maybe it’s the decorations – the Chrismon’s on the trees, the Advent Wreath, the nativity placed front and center, or the alter which seems to have been freshly poshed in a manner that is preparing for a special guest to arrive. Perhaps it’s the music...
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The Gift of Giving
#GivingTuesday Reflection
The season of Advent is here—a time when we light the first candle of the Advent wreath and lean into the promise of hope. This week, we are invited to reflect on the profound intersection of hope and generosity, especially as we participate in the upcoming celebration of #GivingTuesday.
Advent teaches us that hope is not passive. It is an active force, born...
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Keeping True to Self: Being Intentional During the Holiday Season
So often during the holiday season, I find myself so lost in the call to be with others and to fill their cup, that I forget to find space and time to fill mine. The holiday season is a time filled with joy, traditions, and celebrations—but it can also bring an overwhelming sense of busyness, financial strain, and pressure to meet expectations. Amid the whirlwind of events, gift-giving, and...
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Do you have 8 Minutes to Spare?
Recently, a friend shared a YouTube video featuring leadership speaker and author, Simon Sinek. The topic was about being present and aware in your relationships with others, and he focused on the concept of Eight Minutes.
The concept is simple: Eight Minutes may not seem like a lot of time, but based on research, it’s long enough to give someone your full attention, to listen with an open...
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Ouvrons grand les Jeux: Games Wide Open!
Once every four-years, something a bit whimsical and nostalgic happens, and unless you are freeof all media and are perhaps living under a proverbial rock, you know I am referring to theSummer Olympics! Since 1984 when the games were held in the City of Angels and proudlytouted its mascot, Sam the Olympic Eagle, I have been a dedicated consumer of the Olympicgames. Like many, I have my...
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Shame: The Swampland of the Soul
I am a big fan of taking a night and going to the movies. I love the entire process of purchasing the perfectseat, overpriced movie popcorn, a real coke, and candy. I fully enjoy the corny previews and sincereattempts by the theater to ensure everyone turns off their cell phones and cut down on chatter. Best of all,the experience of the movie theater brings a bit of separation and suspension...
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Thin Spaces
In the fall of 2019, I had the privilege of participating in a retreat for mental health and spiritualcare providers focused on the theme of Thin Spaces. I was familiar with the concept of ThinIn the fall of 2019, I had the privilege of participating in a retreat for mental health and spiritualcare providers focused on the theme of Thin Spaces. I was familiar with the concept of...
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It Is What It Is
I am excited to announce that last week, I was on a real vacation! What I mean by a realvacation is this – this particular trip had nothing to do with my profession nor was ittacked on to a work-related trip, I did not take work-related projects to complete rather asilly romance novel I found for $5.00 at the local bookstore, and best of all I had zeroaccess to the internet. There was...
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Americana
Growing up, my extended family would gather in a New Mexico ski resort town every year forthe 4 th of July holiday. This sleepy mountain town where we gathered for our annual familyreunion existed purely on tourism and during the winter months, this was a busy village filledwith skiers and snowboarders alike. To the villages credit, they had managed to provide asmattering of summer activities...
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Lessons From Landscapes
A month or so ago, my spring travels found me in Pittsburgh, PA. I was attending the Festival ofHomiletics as both an attendee and a host of a Chrysalis Counseling For Clergy booth. I haveattended this event for several years and I have developed a fondness for this gathering for manyreasons: 1) For the ecumenical gathering aspect and 2) For the physical annual shift in locationthat...
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Living Into the Golden Rule
When my daughter was in 3 rd -5 th grades, she participated in our local Junior Derby League on ateam called the Marionettes. Just image a group of young girls ages 8-12 expressing themselvesin colorful dress and makeup, and playing a full-contact roller-skating sport. Everything aboutthis was fun for me. I enjoyed watching the practices and bouts, listening to the 80s and 90smusic blasting...
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Passing The Torch
This is my absolute favorite photo of my ordination. The photo itself is from the local townnewspaper where I was ordained. The photo is a little grainy and the details are difficult to makeout, which is one of the many reasons this is the photo I have framed in my office.When I look at this photo, I am reminded of not only the day I was ordained, but I am remindedof the somewhat grainy and...
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The Litmus Test
I remember the morning well…It was mid-February and to say I had a lot going on in my life both personally and professionallywould be the understatement of the year. I was feeling both exhilarated and emotionallyexhausted. I was not eating or sleeping well, and I was feeling as if my emotional state waschanging by the minute, if not by the second. Some significant shifts were about to...
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In Memory
I was once told that memories sit in a variety of ways – some sit softy, some violently, and somein a much more neutral way. In the 24-years since graduating with my MA in Counseling andreceiving my first licensure, I have had the privilege of sharing space with people who areworking through complex times, and I have come to fully appreciate this sentiment regardingmemories.Over the weekend,...
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The Gift of Exploration
My first trip abroad took place in 1997. I was in my fourth year at the University of New Mexicoand my dear friend Alison was studying Psychology at Oxford University outside of London.She invited me to visit her in-between semesters. It was on this trip that I discovered that I do notmind long plane rides, the hustle and bustle of unfamiliar places, observing people as youmomentarily become...
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Tis the Season to Celebrate
It was May 19 th , 2020 when I found myself putting on my robe with my newly earned stripes(three on each sleeve to be exact), my father’s Ph.D. graduation hood (an homage to my latefather’s profound respect for education), and my tam (something I had been waiting to wear for avery long time!). My Zoom-inspired Doctor of Ministry graduation from Claremont School ofTheology would soon begin...
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Its Mental Health Awareness Month–Now What?
Navigating Clergy Mental Health: Insights for Mental Health Awareness MonthAs we delve into Mental Health Awareness Month this May, it’s imperative to shine a light onthe often-overlooked aspect of clergy mental health. Beyond the serene facade, we as clergymembers often grapple with a myriad of mental health challenges, ranging from anxiety anddepression to struggles with personal...
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How We Gather
For the past week, I have found myself serving the United Methodist Church’s GeneralConference as a Page. A Page, in this setting, is akin to a legislative runner as the work primarilytakes place up close and personal on the floor of each conference session, ensuring the votingdelegates have what they need, and that information flows with little disruption to those whoneed it for the work of...
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How Does Your Garden Grow
In my romanticized version of spring, I take myself as an urban gardener – not farmer, but agardener. And I say romanticized as it is the warming of the days and in the cooling temperaturesof the evenings that I find myself inspired and joyfully shopping for flowers and plants at thenursery next to my home as I imagine what my urban garden will be in just a few days’ time.The problem...
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Free Moon Pies!
Last Monday, I had the opportunity to view the eclipse in Dallas, TX with a group of clergyleaders from various parts of the southern region of the United States. The event was met withgreat optimism despite the cloud coverage was predicted to be great, with little chance of a clearview of this celestial event. As is the case with so many unpredictable and uncertaincircumstances, the cloud...
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A Note of Retreat
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, particularly in professions demanding emotional andspiritual care like clergy, it’s easy to overlook the critical need for retreat. Yet, statistics on clergyburnout and saturation serve as a stark reminder of the urgency to prioritize self-care and renewalpractices within our spiritual communities.According to a study by the Schaffer Institute,...
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Tell Me a Story
Dear Chrysalis Friends,As we find ourselves winding down from the hustle and bustle of our most sacredseasons, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of finding rest andsolace, even in the busiest of times. It’s during these periods, filled with variousobligations and commitments, that we often forget to pause, breathe, and seek therejuvenation that rest offers.In the...
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Ultimate? Penultimate? Antepenultimate?
I remember in my Greek class in seminary a discussion of terms related to what we might call “the end.” Of course the term we used to describe the final conclusion of something was “ultimate.” What came just prior to the ultimate was “penultimate.” And what was just before that which was just before the ultimate was the...
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Chrysalis – The Humble Beginnings
In January 2020, I defended my dissertation for my Doctorate in Ministry with Claremont School of Theology focusing on sustainable clergy rest and renewal practices. Shortly after my return from defending what felt like a life-long piece of art, a colleague said to me, “Good for you, now you can hang your diploma on your wall and put your dissertation in your bookshelf so both can collect...
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Feeling The Darkness – Finding The Light In Ministry
I was recently asked about my thoughts on the phrases:
“Hurt people, Hurt people” and “Silent people kill churches.”
It took me a bit to ponder these thoughts for myself, as I have so often used these phrases as a therapeutic tool in the sacred space found in my therapy room. I don’t know how these two phrases have, or have not, played a role in your lives but I would like you to...
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Re-Ordering the Photo Frame
As I was walking down the photo frame aisle trying to pick the perfect frame in which to highlight my daughter’s recent drill team competition photo, I found myself longing for my family to be in one of the frames: a photo frame family! You know the photo frame family I am talking about – it’s the photo that actually comes with the frame you purchase of the perfectly positioned family where...
Learn MoreDiscernment by Nausea in a Season of Remembrance
I recently heard the phrase, Discernment By Nausea and I was immediately drawn to it. Perhaps it is because of the season of Lent that we are entering into or perhaps it is because of the season I have personally found myself in and perhaps it is a little bit of both!
The thought behind this phrase is that we often play it safe when it comes to our...
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Movement & Vision
As 2023 comes to a close and 2024 peaks it’s head around the corner, we find ourselves in a place of reflection, remembrance, and resolution. We reflect on all that the year have gifted to us and we remember all the lessons learned. The phase of resolution can be a bit more complicated as it takes into account the phases of reflection and remembrance and attempts to make ‘All things different...
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An Advent of Change
Henri Nouwen once wrote, “…to pray is to change” and then he asked, “Why would you want todo that?” Nouwen named what we all know: change is hard. Even when we are instigatingchange in our own lives, under our own direction, change is difficult and complicated. I wonderif we might consider this same axiom and question about change in our Advent journey. Inother words, to enter Advent is to...
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How Much Light?
The Christmas tree glows in the corner complete with a tree topper star that projectssnowflakes onto the ceiling. Meanwhile the electric wreath hangs in the window shining its LEDblessing onto the outside world. Another Christmas tree, the small plastic one with the built-inlights, sits in another room of the house serving as a kind of seasonal night light. Lighteverywhere! Come, Lord Jesus....
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year…Maybe
The Christmas season has always been a mixed bag for me. Even as a young child and the child of a female pastor in the 1980’s, I felt both the joy and struggle of the season. I believe it was as if the pressures of the holidays and the hustle and bustle were simply too much for my little body to take in. I vaguely remember many Christmas Ev’s feeling as if the Church took precedence over...
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Gauges
If I’m honest I really only look at two gauges on the dashboard of my truck. I watch myspeedometer and I check my gas gauge. I know that there are other gauges in my informationcluster: tachometer, battery charge, oil temperature, and maintenance. But the truth is that Ionly notice this information when something goes wrong or when it beeps or flashes. Most ofthe time I just trust that...
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Faith and Ministry
One of the issues that can exist for pastors is the blurring of the delicate line between faith in God and loyalty to the church. We hear the story often at Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy. A person experiences the grace of God in a profound way, they have a sense of calling to serve God, and they find a way to live out that calling in the church. In one sense this is the...
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When the Bottom Drops Out
At Chrysalis Counseling for Clergy we acknowledge how difficult ministry can be. The demands placed upon pastors and ministry leaders today are complex and varied in ways heretofore not experienced. Not only is the sheer practice of ministry more and more complicated, but the effects of this stressful environment on the overall health of ministry leaders are profound as...
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Freedom
July 4, 2023
Happy Independence Day! Perhaps no word resonates with the American democratic experiment than freedom. Our history books and national mythology teach us that freedom was the driving force of what became the United States of America. And yet, we know that despite the promises of the Declaration of Independence not everyone is treated equally even if they are...
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Transitions & a Cup of Coffee
I am a big fan of coffee – church coffee, boutique coffee, Starbucks. It does not completely matter to me if my coffee originates from an espresso maker crafted ever so carefully with beautiful artwork showing through the foam from the local coffee shop, or straight from the verismo tucked in the corner of my office. I just enjoy my coffee.
I am also a fan of sharing sacred conversations...
Learn MoreTrust the Story
Moving through the Lenten season draws us near to Easter and the story of the resurrection. On one level, this is joyful and exciting. On another level, especially for pastors, the nearing of Easter can bring pressure and anxiety. Holy Week is often filled with extra services. Easter Sunday can come with a higher level of expectation. What can we do in this midst...
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Lessons from an aspiring Minimalist
I have a bi-annual tradition that focuses on a clearing of the clutter. This is a time where I literally go through every drawer and shelf in my home and office spaces with the goal to move out what is no longer serving me. In the churches I have served, I often utilized the time before Christmas to clear my office and at least one closet or underutilized classroom space. I had a habit of...
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